timeforme - I like the name you picked for yourself, and am glad you joined our site. You're in one of those situations where well-meaning people who have no idea of what you are actually living will feel they have the right to give you advice based on their perception of what they would do in the same situation. Until they have actually walked in your shoes they really have no expertise to offer, just an opinion. You have two children to care for, are the family breadwinner and are now a caregiver too. That's a lot for any person to take on, and can be overwhelming.
We have a thread on our site about living with, and possibly leaving, a sick spouse that I think you'd find very helpful. You're definitely not alone in what you're thinking and experiencing right now, and sometimes it helps to learn from others. You'll find it here: https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/living-and-possibly-leaving-sick-spouse-heartfelt-story-reader-looking-advice
As women we are expected by society to be the caregivers. Many people have no idea what that means and get their impressions of caregiving from things like TV movies that just don't give a true picture of what's involved. The thoughts you're thinking right now - concern for every member of your family, including yourself - are healthy and what you need to be doing in order to manage all of your different roles. If you're not doing well no one else in the family will do well either. Right now I hope you will take some time for yourself to just absorb some of this information and process your feelings, and want to assure you that they are NORMAL and healthy. You may also want to see support through an objective, trained professional counselor who can help you sort through your feelings.
You will figure out the right things to do for your family, but the first step is also including yourself in the list of those you care for.
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timeforme - I like the name you picked for yourself, and am glad you joined our site. You're in one of those situations where well-meaning people who have no idea of what you are actually living will feel they have the right to give you advice based on their perception of what they would do in the same situation. Until they have actually walked in your shoes they really have no expertise to offer, just an opinion. You have two children to care for, are the family breadwinner and are now a caregiver too. That's a lot for any person to take on, and can be overwhelming.
We have a thread on our site about living with, and possibly leaving, a sick spouse that I think you'd find very helpful. You're definitely not alone in what you're thinking and experiencing right now, and sometimes it helps to learn from others. You'll find it here: https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/living-and-possibly-leaving-sick-spouse-heartfelt-story-reader-looking-advice
As women we are expected by society to be the caregivers. Many people have no idea what that means and get their impressions of caregiving from things like TV movies that just don't give a true picture of what's involved. The thoughts you're thinking right now - concern for every member of your family, including yourself - are healthy and what you need to be doing in order to manage all of your different roles. If you're not doing well no one else in the family will do well either. Right now I hope you will take some time for yourself to just absorb some of this information and process your feelings, and want to assure you that they are NORMAL and healthy. You may also want to see support through an objective, trained professional counselor who can help you sort through your feelings.
You will figure out the right things to do for your family, but the first step is also including yourself in the list of those you care for.
Please stay in touch, and take care, Pat
June 11, 2010 - 5:02pmThis Comment
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