Wow! I am blown away at what you wrote. I am in almost the exact situation! I can't explain how wonderful it feels to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way. My husband also has a terminal illness and has become disabled. We have two precious little girls who we both love more than anything in the world. And while we love each other, our marriage feels a lot more like a business arrangement. On top of caring for my children and husband at home, I am also a CNA in a hospital, where I care for people all day long (go figure!). Before I met my husband, I was dating a doctor that I work with. Within the past few months, the old feelings for my ex have surfaced, but they are multiplied! I know in my heart that I will not leave my husband. I could never "kick him while he's down", but I am really starting to feel like I want a real relationship and future with my ex again. He knows about my situation at home, and he says he just wants to be there for me however he can, and he is in no hurry to find a long term relationship anywhere else, so he will just wait and make himself available whenever I need/want him. It feels unbelieveably amazing to have a man actually be there for ME, not vica verca. Even though I know that when you look at my situation in black and white, what I am feeling is VERY wrong, but I have somehow justified it, because I have to to keep my sanity.
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Wow! I am blown away at what you wrote. I am in almost the exact situation! I can't explain how wonderful it feels to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way. My husband also has a terminal illness and has become disabled. We have two precious little girls who we both love more than anything in the world. And while we love each other, our marriage feels a lot more like a business arrangement. On top of caring for my children and husband at home, I am also a CNA in a hospital, where I care for people all day long (go figure!). Before I met my husband, I was dating a doctor that I work with. Within the past few months, the old feelings for my ex have surfaced, but they are multiplied! I know in my heart that I will not leave my husband. I could never "kick him while he's down", but I am really starting to feel like I want a real relationship and future with my ex again. He knows about my situation at home, and he says he just wants to be there for me however he can, and he is in no hurry to find a long term relationship anywhere else, so he will just wait and make himself available whenever I need/want him. It feels unbelieveably amazing to have a man actually be there for ME, not vica verca. Even though I know that when you look at my situation in black and white, what I am feeling is VERY wrong, but I have somehow justified it, because I have to to keep my sanity.
June 8, 2011 - 11:41pmThis Comment
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