This post reminded me that I have this book, called Hot Monogamy by Patricia Love (I attended one of her seminars at a health conference, and she was wonderful...and so is the book!).
From what I remember of the book, it does not discuss the nature vs. nurture theory, but it does talk about putting the excitement back into monogamy. The main complaint about monogamy (especially in long-term committed relationships) is that "familiarity sets in", and the "excitement" and "intensity" of newly dating is no longer there.
The author says, "Men and women alike want the security, safety and comfort of a committed love relationship, but they long for the passion that seems to come only from a new relationship or an affair." "What they are searching for is what may appear to be a contradiction in terms: Hot Monogamy."
The premise of the book does sway my belief that perhaps monogamy is not a biologically inherited way of being ("nature"), since it is something that has to be worked at and counseled on, which sounds more like a "nurture" way of being to me.
On the other hand, from an evolutionary standpoint, monogamy is probably the safest type of relationship for humans and animals to have, in order to raise offspring in an environment with either two parents (or an entire community for protection).
I would love to learn more about this, as it is interesting subject!
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This post reminded me that I have this book, called Hot Monogamy by Patricia Love (I attended one of her seminars at a health conference, and she was wonderful...and so is the book!).
From what I remember of the book, it does not discuss the nature vs. nurture theory, but it does talk about putting the excitement back into monogamy. The main complaint about monogamy (especially in long-term committed relationships) is that "familiarity sets in", and the "excitement" and "intensity" of newly dating is no longer there.
The author says, "Men and women alike want the security, safety and comfort of a committed love relationship, but they long for the passion that seems to come only from a new relationship or an affair." "What they are searching for is what may appear to be a contradiction in terms: Hot Monogamy."
The premise of the book does sway my belief that perhaps monogamy is not a biologically inherited way of being ("nature"), since it is something that has to be worked at and counseled on, which sounds more like a "nurture" way of being to me.
On the other hand, from an evolutionary standpoint, monogamy is probably the safest type of relationship for humans and animals to have, in order to raise offspring in an environment with either two parents (or an entire community for protection).
I would love to learn more about this, as it is interesting subject!
September 7, 2008 - 7:22pmThis Comment
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