I suffered from Vulvodynia the worst last year. I had it so bad, I had no other choice but to devote my life to it. I know what you mean about the icepacks... I actually walked around with them in my underwear all the time, but it really wasn't enough.
I tracked my symptoms: time of day, temp, everything and was eventually able to determine it was a hormonal imbalance. I tend towards natural cures, so after much trial and error I was able to re-balance my body's ability to make hormones using high quality vitamins and other natural approaches. But in your severe case if you're not opposed to HRT, you could have your hormones checked and look into this kind of relief right away.
I was only 25 and my lack of hormones sent me into a state of menopause. Once I got my periods back and my hormones better adjusted, my pain went away 95%. I am writing a blog/story about this here too for the full story. My friend who had V much longer than I, also got relief from types of HRT. It kills me to see people go through the torture I had. I recently joined a team: http://www.curetogether.com/Vulvodynia/ that specifically addresses this and other chronic conditions. It is designed to open up world-wide research and help people discover treatments faster. I hope you can find additional treatment options and reviews there to help you asap. My heart goes out to you, many prayers.