Dear Anonymous,
I agree with Susan that unnecessary worry isn't healthy or wise at this junction of an upcoming deployment. To clear up the worry of the co-ed showers. There are indeed one area of showers (where there used to be separated) and they ask that the men and women use them at different times. I'm not sure how well this works. I do know that in my case, women coming into men's rooms, enlisted into officer's room, etc. was pretty much ignored. This doesn't mean that it will happen in your case. I do know that spouses get very lonely and it may mean that your spouse will realize that you are SO important in his life. You sound like you're trying very hard to make sure he knows how much you want this marriage to work. Deployments are never easy but it is made much easier by knowing that someone at home is loving you and waiting for you. It wasn't until our third deployment that my husband strayed but they were deployments that were almost back to back over four years and I don't believe he was in his right mind at the time. I feel as though my plea for help and telling my story brought angst and worry into your life. I agree with Susan that asking for a lie detector test or anything that brings uneccessary worry or worse, accusations, prior to even arriving to the middle east will only make the separation begin on the wrong footing. Try to relax, work on communication while he is deployed and take care of you and the baby first and foremost. There are Family Readiness Groups and wonderful wives that will be there to help you. Good luck and take care.
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Dear Anonymous,
January 29, 2011 - 1:50pmI agree with Susan that unnecessary worry isn't healthy or wise at this junction of an upcoming deployment. To clear up the worry of the co-ed showers. There are indeed one area of showers (where there used to be separated) and they ask that the men and women use them at different times. I'm not sure how well this works. I do know that in my case, women coming into men's rooms, enlisted into officer's room, etc. was pretty much ignored. This doesn't mean that it will happen in your case. I do know that spouses get very lonely and it may mean that your spouse will realize that you are SO important in his life. You sound like you're trying very hard to make sure he knows how much you want this marriage to work. Deployments are never easy but it is made much easier by knowing that someone at home is loving you and waiting for you. It wasn't until our third deployment that my husband strayed but they were deployments that were almost back to back over four years and I don't believe he was in his right mind at the time. I feel as though my plea for help and telling my story brought angst and worry into your life. I agree with Susan that asking for a lie detector test or anything that brings uneccessary worry or worse, accusations, prior to even arriving to the middle east will only make the separation begin on the wrong footing. Try to relax, work on communication while he is deployed and take care of you and the baby first and foremost. There are Family Readiness Groups and wonderful wives that will be there to help you. Good luck and take care.
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