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My husband and I were older (read: not in our 20's; him not even in his 30's!) when we wed, and did not have a bachelor/bachlorette party, either. We did not have the feeling or need to be surrounded by opposite sex naked people to feel like we were making the right decision with each other. I agree---it is truly silly and hurtful to the relationship!

On the night before our wedding, we wanted to see each other! We went out with other "coupled" friends and did some salsa dancing. Our friends tried their best to embarrass each of us, which was fun because we were able to partake in the other's fun. Drinks were had, but not too many--we wanted to be alert for our wedding day!

I attended a bachlorette party for one of my girlfriends, and there was no activities or events that took place that were potential relationship/marriage-killers. It was an evening spent having fun and drinking and embarrassing the bride-to-be; I thought that the stereotypical bachelor party was going out of style, or was changing to be more respectful towards women. Wishful thinking.

I agree with Susan: I would honestly be worried about marrying a man who thought something like that was "fun, wanted and necessary", because those feelings are not going to change just because he has a piece of metal on his finger. Why start off a marriage with hurt feelings and distrust?

November 2, 2008 - 2:47pm

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