As a former straight-A kid, I can tell you that I worked really hard for my grades. I'm sure that not all kids do, and that it comes easier to some than it does to others. I think that one reason there may be more straight-A kids these days is that it seems teachers have done away with the Bell curve -- and 90 and up is an A, no matter now many kids get that score. (Which I approve of, having been the victim of the Bell curve in my lifetime! What weird punishment, having a grade be dictated by what others in your class did!)
I am not a parent, but I know if I were that it would hurt to see my children disappointed, or told they can't do something, or lose at something. But I would rather they learn how to handle those things while they are young and live at home. It seems to me that parents who let their children believe that the world revolves around them are setting up that child for a huge shock when he or she leaves home.
You want a child to believe that they're great just because they are here, and are who they are. But you also want them to believe they can accomplish anything they want to (with hard work), and that the only limits in the world are the ones they set for themselves. Is that an unrealistic hope? Can kids get to college, and then out in the world, with a level sense of who they are? It seems like high school -- both when I went and today -- can sometimes just be an exercise in tearing down kids' self esteem. Kids can be so mean to one another that I wonder which message is easier for a teen to hear -- the one that says they're great, which their parent has instilled in them, or the one that says they're inferior, which is what other kids might say.
Clearly, if they all think they'll automatically be great spouses and parents, they're doing ok. It'll be interesting to see what answers teens give in another 10 or 15 years to those questions, won't it?
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As a former straight-A kid, I can tell you that I worked really hard for my grades. I'm sure that not all kids do, and that it comes easier to some than it does to others. I think that one reason there may be more straight-A kids these days is that it seems teachers have done away with the Bell curve -- and 90 and up is an A, no matter now many kids get that score. (Which I approve of, having been the victim of the Bell curve in my lifetime! What weird punishment, having a grade be dictated by what others in your class did!)
I am not a parent, but I know if I were that it would hurt to see my children disappointed, or told they can't do something, or lose at something. But I would rather they learn how to handle those things while they are young and live at home. It seems to me that parents who let their children believe that the world revolves around them are setting up that child for a huge shock when he or she leaves home.
You want a child to believe that they're great just because they are here, and are who they are. But you also want them to believe they can accomplish anything they want to (with hard work), and that the only limits in the world are the ones they set for themselves. Is that an unrealistic hope? Can kids get to college, and then out in the world, with a level sense of who they are? It seems like high school -- both when I went and today -- can sometimes just be an exercise in tearing down kids' self esteem. Kids can be so mean to one another that I wonder which message is easier for a teen to hear -- the one that says they're great, which their parent has instilled in them, or the one that says they're inferior, which is what other kids might say.
Clearly, if they all think they'll automatically be great spouses and parents, they're doing ok. It'll be interesting to see what answers teens give in another 10 or 15 years to those questions, won't it?
November 13, 2008 - 9:55amThis Comment
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