I hate to think of young women (and young men, for that matter) to whom we're trying to teach the phrase "No Means No," suddenly hear that well, in some cases, like X and Y and Z, "No" actually means "let's talk about it." That's a horrible message for anyone to send. I don't have children of my own, but I have seven nieces, and it would horrify me to think of them feeling like they couldn't say "No" at any time and not have it be honored. I agree that the phrase "date rape" is a loaded phrase; I think "acquaintance rape" may be a little less loaded but it still leaves the door open for misinterpretation.
The science of seating juries is fascinating. Sometimes I think that the people who specialize in seating juries have a window into human nature that the rest of us don't. I once was called for a jury for a DWI trial. The person who was driving drunk was a male college student. I was surprised to see them put quite a few mothers on the jury, because I would think that mothers would be the last to want a drunk driver on the streets. But it turns out that the mothers look at the defendant and inherently see "a good boy" and someone's son.
In terms of how women treat other women, I think there are two standards. I think that among close girlfriends, the bond is amazing. I have a set of girlfriends that I have known forever, and they also are my rocks. But I have been in the workplace and when one woman is promoted, it's almost guaranteed that there will be other women who will assume the worst about her. I also was in management and was startled at how quickly former co-workers seemed to suspect the worst of me, when I was the same person I was before the promotion.
Barbra Streisand has spoken at length about the "bitch" title. Seems she can be assertive and very specific about her performances and she's called a control freak and a bitch, while a male actor known for the same traits -- Dustin Hoffman, for instance -- is known as a perfectionist, or an "actor's actor."
It was really interesting during the presidential campaigns to watch how the media reacted to Hillary on the campaign trail, and how different it was -- what was she wearing, did she tear up, was she being too harsh -- on and on. Same with Sarah Palin to some extent. While I don't think I saw a single story on what John McCain or Barack Obama wore. Moms, dads, women, men. Makes me wonder if we'll ever get over some of the growing pains we've had ever since women entered the work force and began to understand themselves as equal.
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I hate to think of young women (and young men, for that matter) to whom we're trying to teach the phrase "No Means No," suddenly hear that well, in some cases, like X and Y and Z, "No" actually means "let's talk about it." That's a horrible message for anyone to send. I don't have children of my own, but I have seven nieces, and it would horrify me to think of them feeling like they couldn't say "No" at any time and not have it be honored. I agree that the phrase "date rape" is a loaded phrase; I think "acquaintance rape" may be a little less loaded but it still leaves the door open for misinterpretation.
The science of seating juries is fascinating. Sometimes I think that the people who specialize in seating juries have a window into human nature that the rest of us don't. I once was called for a jury for a DWI trial. The person who was driving drunk was a male college student. I was surprised to see them put quite a few mothers on the jury, because I would think that mothers would be the last to want a drunk driver on the streets. But it turns out that the mothers look at the defendant and inherently see "a good boy" and someone's son.
In terms of how women treat other women, I think there are two standards. I think that among close girlfriends, the bond is amazing. I have a set of girlfriends that I have known forever, and they also are my rocks. But I have been in the workplace and when one woman is promoted, it's almost guaranteed that there will be other women who will assume the worst about her. I also was in management and was startled at how quickly former co-workers seemed to suspect the worst of me, when I was the same person I was before the promotion.
Barbra Streisand has spoken at length about the "bitch" title. Seems she can be assertive and very specific about her performances and she's called a control freak and a bitch, while a male actor known for the same traits -- Dustin Hoffman, for instance -- is known as a perfectionist, or an "actor's actor."
It was really interesting during the presidential campaigns to watch how the media reacted to Hillary on the campaign trail, and how different it was -- what was she wearing, did she tear up, was she being too harsh -- on and on. Same with Sarah Palin to some extent. While I don't think I saw a single story on what John McCain or Barack Obama wore. Moms, dads, women, men. Makes me wonder if we'll ever get over some of the growing pains we've had ever since women entered the work force and began to understand themselves as equal.
November 20, 2008 - 9:47amThis Comment
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