Alison, my two children never hit me or anyone including other kids. I consider myself a very strict parent and my message was always clear and set boundaries at each stage of development. However, each of my kids required different strategies and I made mistakes so I had to work hard at learning that what worked for one did not necessarily worked for the other. My kids are now 15 and 12 and teachers want to clone them. I think that is a compliment to my husband and I. But the main thing was that we were very consistent with our message. Time out was not punishment but time to reflect on what their inappropriate behavior was about. We always talked about it afterwards and they came up with their own corrective action. It was not always perfect but I made sure they owned up the responsibilty of their actions. There was (and still is) lots of hugs and loving words after a "tough love" session. I also learned to apologize when I was wrong, even when they were little. They always appreciated that mom was vulnerable and made mistakes too.
I have heard of children who are more emotionally needy and some of this starts in-womb and acting out behaviors will manifest later on as they begin to identify with their human presence in their world around them. Remember, if you believe in a soul, each of us regardless of age have an ageless soul. What is young is the physical body, correct? I suggest an open, honest communication with your child about your own feelings when he hits you and try to have a soul to soul conversation from time to time. You may find out very interesting things about your child "being"
Another aspect is the Emotional Intelligence development process. My kids' pediatrician is well-known and he has a great website along with very good books that I read over the years. You can find something helpful here: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp
And here is a quiz you can try online to take your child's emotional intelligence pulse http://www.kidsemotions.net/ Natural Family Online also has great resources and articles http://www.naturalfamilyonline.com/go/index.php
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Alison, my two children never hit me or anyone including other kids. I consider myself a very strict parent and my message was always clear and set boundaries at each stage of development. However, each of my kids required different strategies and I made mistakes so I had to work hard at learning that what worked for one did not necessarily worked for the other. My kids are now 15 and 12 and teachers want to clone them. I think that is a compliment to my husband and I. But the main thing was that we were very consistent with our message. Time out was not punishment but time to reflect on what their inappropriate behavior was about. We always talked about it afterwards and they came up with their own corrective action. It was not always perfect but I made sure they owned up the responsibilty of their actions. There was (and still is) lots of hugs and loving words after a "tough love" session. I also learned to apologize when I was wrong, even when they were little. They always appreciated that mom was vulnerable and made mistakes too.
I have heard of children who are more emotionally needy and some of this starts in-womb and acting out behaviors will manifest later on as they begin to identify with their human presence in their world around them. Remember, if you believe in a soul, each of us regardless of age have an ageless soul. What is young is the physical body, correct? I suggest an open, honest communication with your child about your own feelings when he hits you and try to have a soul to soul conversation from time to time. You may find out very interesting things about your child "being"
Another aspect is the Emotional Intelligence development process. My kids' pediatrician is well-known and he has a great website along with very good books that I read over the years. You can find something helpful here: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp
And here is a quiz you can try online to take your child's emotional intelligence pulse http://www.kidsemotions.net/ Natural Family Online also has great resources and articles http://www.naturalfamilyonline.com/go/index.php
December 9, 2008 - 10:47pmThis Comment
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