I got the don't go to bed angry advice from so many people when I got married. It has only happened a few times so far in my marriage but I am thinking that it is not very good advice at all. I do not feel as if staying up almost all night no matter how tired you are, even if you have to work in the morning, is a good idea. For one thing if my husband acts like he might actually fall asleep and we have not completely resolved the issue, I begin to cry thinking that we are going to end up in an unhappy bad marriage because we went to sleep upset due to my belief in this widespread advice. But I am willing to try a different method because this way is not working. After last night I am going to try saying , I love you, give and kiss and go to bed even if everything is not resolved. Today we are both sad because we did not get hardly any sleep, sitting up for hours talking everything through took so much when what you should be doing in resting.We cried and my eyes are all puffy, he overslept and was late for work and he is NEVER late.So we barely got to say we love each other as he raced out the door half dressed, and half asleep, all confused. Now I just feel terrible. I am pretty sure he does too. It does not feel like a regular happy day even though we finally made up at 4 in the morning. Instead it feels like one of the worst times in our whole marriage all because I was holding on to some idealized idea of not going to bed angry. I know we will recover but it has been a draining experience and the next time we have an issue before bed I am not going to force a reconciliation. I am going to try to see how just sleeping on it works.
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I got the don't go to bed angry advice from so many people when I got married. It has only happened a few times so far in my marriage but I am thinking that it is not very good advice at all. I do not feel as if staying up almost all night no matter how tired you are, even if you have to work in the morning, is a good idea. For one thing if my husband acts like he might actually fall asleep and we have not completely resolved the issue, I begin to cry thinking that we are going to end up in an unhappy bad marriage because we went to sleep upset due to my belief in this widespread advice. But I am willing to try a different method because this way is not working. After last night I am going to try saying , I love you, give and kiss and go to bed even if everything is not resolved. Today we are both sad because we did not get hardly any sleep, sitting up for hours talking everything through took so much when what you should be doing in resting.We cried and my eyes are all puffy, he overslept and was late for work and he is NEVER late.So we barely got to say we love each other as he raced out the door half dressed, and half asleep, all confused. Now I just feel terrible. I am pretty sure he does too. It does not feel like a regular happy day even though we finally made up at 4 in the morning. Instead it feels like one of the worst times in our whole marriage all because I was holding on to some idealized idea of not going to bed angry. I know we will recover but it has been a draining experience and the next time we have an issue before bed I am not going to force a reconciliation. I am going to try to see how just sleeping on it works.
June 12, 2010 - 10:26amThis Comment
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