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Hey, Anon,

My sister knows well the battleground of a household where a relationship with a teenager is difficult. She has four kids, the oldest of which is 20. From age 15 to about 19, that daughter was a pill. She fought with her stepfather, picked fights with her siblings, had boyfriend issues and some trouble in school. Everything seemed in contention, always. There seemed to never be a quiet day or a peaceful conversation.

One Christmas in the middle of that time, my mom gave my sister a plaque that said "Talking to a Teenager is like Nailing Jello to a Tree." I think my sister laughed so hard she cried.

Remember that it does pass. Like Virginia said, their job right now is to grow up, and separate from you. This is what they're doing -- as well as testing, testing, testing. Parents set the limits and children test them.

This page has links to several pages that are entirely about parent-teen conversations. Maybe something here will help you through this phase:

http://parentingteens.about.com/od/talktoyourteen/Communication_Talk_to_Your_Teen.htm

Please let us know more about what's going on so we can see if we can help. So glad you wrote. Hang in there!

January 5, 2009 - 10:14am

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