In response to, "I'm not all convinced that breast milk is of higher quality than formula" here is one article:
http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/breastfeeding/dont-trash.html
and another as recent as December 19, 2008:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/20/health/research/20breast.html
Kristin, I think we do need to discuss breastfeeding more in our society. We need to share information and that is not the same as passing judgment. Your stories about being treated poorly by a lactation consultant or why you decided formula was a better choice for you and your children are important things for women (and hospital staff) to hear. I want to hear your stories, now that you have hinted at them. It is none of my business, of course, but if you want to share and feel like society doesn't allow you to share your stories because some of them include formula, well please know that I and surely others believe your stories are important. All mothers need to share their stories, in my opinion.
To empower women we must make sure they have all of the information they need to make informed decisions. Now, if you truly believe breastmilk and formula are equals, then that is your opinion, but it is not supported by the evidence. Empowered women need to know what the evidence states and it is almost universally that breastmilk is the superior infant food. Not only that, breastfeeding is also beneficial to the mother, but that is often left out of the discussion.
Please see the following re: breastfeeding reducing breast cancer rates:
http://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVAprMay99p29.html
and for all of breastfeeding benefits see this page:
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBbenefits.html
On a more radical note, I would like to offer the additional choice of using donated breast milk for the mother who cannot breastfeed her own child. If this gives the reader a knee-jerk negative reaction, please ask yourself why. Then remember that cow milk has evolved for baby cows (who later become 1500 lb adult cows), not baby humans. That soy beans are heavily processed to become soy milk. Then return to asking why using non-maternal human milk has fallen out of favor in our society. In fact, there are many mothers today who choose donor breastmilk instead of formula. This is a choice often left out of breastmilk vs. formula debates. I have never used donor milk, nor have I ever donated milk. I just wanted to share this information because it is an option that I had never heard of until learning more about the countless benefits of breastmilk and that was only after I had become a mother myself. For more information on donor breastmilk or human milk banks please see:
http://www.hmbana.org/
or
http://www.breastfeeding.com/all_about/all_about_milk_banks.html
or
http://www.womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding/index.cfm?page=359
If you would like to donate milk or find donor milk in your area, the best way to find donors is to simply network within your parenting community.
I also wanted to point out that you seemed to need to defend your choice of formula-feeding with "(and very high quality formula at that)." Be careful there, this was the very thing you stated you were against. You clarified that you have a standard that many other women in our country may not have. Let's all be careful to simply share information and when things get personal, we have to make sure that is clear to the readers as well. The downside of all this wonderful technology is that we talk differently to each other when we aren't face to face.
I think people will always judge each other because that is the nature of making hard choices for yourself. When you see other people make different choices, you wonder if your choice was truly the best choice. All we can do is make the best choices with the information we have. Making sure mothers have the best information about breastfeeding and formula feeding is the true way to empower women about this topic.
Please know that I believe that women do not always judge each other on this topic. Usually women that come across as judgmental have had their own tough battles that have made them quick to defend their beliefs, even if they were not questioned in the first place. A breastfeeding friend may question why her friend who is not breastfeeding, but it may be from a place of wanting to understand and support, not judge. That breastfeeding friend has most likely defended her choices to others, especially to the generation before us who were advised not to breastfeed, as you pointed out. That formula feeding mothers feel they may be asked to explain how they chose to formula-feed is simply the same experience breastfeeding mothers have had for over 50 years in this country. I don't see that there must be an inherent problem in sharing stories. We must simply remember the goal in doing so--so that we are doing it in a way to support each other in the constant struggle and joy that is motherhood.
Cynthia in Charlottesville, VA
(after previewing I see I don't have an account but I am worried this long post will disappear if I go create one!)
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In response to, "I'm not all convinced that breast milk is of higher quality than formula" here is one article:
http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/breastfeeding/dont-trash.html
and another as recent as December 19, 2008:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/20/health/research/20breast.html
Kristin, I think we do need to discuss breastfeeding more in our society. We need to share information and that is not the same as passing judgment. Your stories about being treated poorly by a lactation consultant or why you decided formula was a better choice for you and your children are important things for women (and hospital staff) to hear. I want to hear your stories, now that you have hinted at them. It is none of my business, of course, but if you want to share and feel like society doesn't allow you to share your stories because some of them include formula, well please know that I and surely others believe your stories are important. All mothers need to share their stories, in my opinion.
To empower women we must make sure they have all of the information they need to make informed decisions. Now, if you truly believe breastmilk and formula are equals, then that is your opinion, but it is not supported by the evidence. Empowered women need to know what the evidence states and it is almost universally that breastmilk is the superior infant food. Not only that, breastfeeding is also beneficial to the mother, but that is often left out of the discussion.
Please see the following re: breastfeeding reducing breast cancer rates:
http://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVAprMay99p29.html
and for all of breastfeeding benefits see this page:
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBbenefits.html
On a more radical note, I would like to offer the additional choice of using donated breast milk for the mother who cannot breastfeed her own child. If this gives the reader a knee-jerk negative reaction, please ask yourself why. Then remember that cow milk has evolved for baby cows (who later become 1500 lb adult cows), not baby humans. That soy beans are heavily processed to become soy milk. Then return to asking why using non-maternal human milk has fallen out of favor in our society. In fact, there are many mothers today who choose donor breastmilk instead of formula. This is a choice often left out of breastmilk vs. formula debates. I have never used donor milk, nor have I ever donated milk. I just wanted to share this information because it is an option that I had never heard of until learning more about the countless benefits of breastmilk and that was only after I had become a mother myself. For more information on donor breastmilk or human milk banks please see:
http://www.hmbana.org/
or
http://www.breastfeeding.com/all_about/all_about_milk_banks.html
or
http://www.womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding/index.cfm?page=359
If you would like to donate milk or find donor milk in your area, the best way to find donors is to simply network within your parenting community.
I also wanted to point out that you seemed to need to defend your choice of formula-feeding with "(and very high quality formula at that)." Be careful there, this was the very thing you stated you were against. You clarified that you have a standard that many other women in our country may not have. Let's all be careful to simply share information and when things get personal, we have to make sure that is clear to the readers as well. The downside of all this wonderful technology is that we talk differently to each other when we aren't face to face.
I think people will always judge each other because that is the nature of making hard choices for yourself. When you see other people make different choices, you wonder if your choice was truly the best choice. All we can do is make the best choices with the information we have. Making sure mothers have the best information about breastfeeding and formula feeding is the true way to empower women about this topic.
Please know that I believe that women do not always judge each other on this topic. Usually women that come across as judgmental have had their own tough battles that have made them quick to defend their beliefs, even if they were not questioned in the first place. A breastfeeding friend may question why her friend who is not breastfeeding, but it may be from a place of wanting to understand and support, not judge. That breastfeeding friend has most likely defended her choices to others, especially to the generation before us who were advised not to breastfeed, as you pointed out. That formula feeding mothers feel they may be asked to explain how they chose to formula-feed is simply the same experience breastfeeding mothers have had for over 50 years in this country. I don't see that there must be an inherent problem in sharing stories. We must simply remember the goal in doing so--so that we are doing it in a way to support each other in the constant struggle and joy that is motherhood.
Cynthia in Charlottesville, VA
January 7, 2009 - 2:37pm(after previewing I see I don't have an account but I am worried this long post will disappear if I go create one!)
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