Our "romantic" view of love in western cultures causes us to see love as a process that starts with the "big bang" where we see stars and feel butterflies in our bellies but when the excitement is gone, this love slowly dies. While eastern cultures see love as a process that starts from zero (in many societies the groom and bride meet for the first time at their wedding day) and it becomes a journey where love goes up in strength with the passing of years.
My husband and I have been together 19 years. We feel closer today than yesterday, and each day our love grows more mature. But we were friends for two years before we dated. There were no games to play, we knew too much about each other's "dark sides" while we were friends so there were not surprises. Our friendship turned into the realization that we wanted to raise kids together and be together.
Not every day has been perfect but we have renewed our vows periodically to remind ourselves the promise we made to each other. Today, he is terminally ill and I am his caregiver and wife, and the mother of two beautiful kids. As I hold him in my arms, fragile and unable to move, I realized how much love I have learned to experience around him. I no longer see his body, but his soul through those beautiful blue eyes and his child-like smile. This fascinating human being who is my husband is who I want to continue loving until "death do us part"
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Our "romantic" view of love in western cultures causes us to see love as a process that starts with the "big bang" where we see stars and feel butterflies in our bellies but when the excitement is gone, this love slowly dies. While eastern cultures see love as a process that starts from zero (in many societies the groom and bride meet for the first time at their wedding day) and it becomes a journey where love goes up in strength with the passing of years.
My husband and I have been together 19 years. We feel closer today than yesterday, and each day our love grows more mature. But we were friends for two years before we dated. There were no games to play, we knew too much about each other's "dark sides" while we were friends so there were not surprises. Our friendship turned into the realization that we wanted to raise kids together and be together.
Not every day has been perfect but we have renewed our vows periodically to remind ourselves the promise we made to each other. Today, he is terminally ill and I am his caregiver and wife, and the mother of two beautiful kids. As I hold him in my arms, fragile and unable to move, I realized how much love I have learned to experience around him. I no longer see his body, but his soul through those beautiful blue eyes and his child-like smile. This fascinating human being who is my husband is who I want to continue loving until "death do us part"
January 8, 2009 - 3:02amThis Comment
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