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I married a strong, hard working, thoughtful man. 18 years into our marriage, he had a coma, for reasons no one could find. I sat by his bed day and night, helped him learn to walk again when he came out of it, was his 24 hour care giver. Then he got rear ended by a bus, which landed him back in bed for 3 months. He has sleep apnea, which, because he wont spend the money on a machine, keeps me awake every night, poking him when he stops breathing. He is "sick" all the time with one thing or another , is physically unavailable, says random, very mean things, even to friends, becomes easily angered, is never happy with anything I do or say any more (and makes sure he comments about it). If it is his bike, or something he like,s he has all the energy in the world, even if his frustration levels are non existent. If it is something his family likes..he is "sick", "tired" or "too sore". it has been three years of hell, but I feel guilty for wanting a life, wanting to be able to live, and do things, when I know he is still in pain from the accident