Sorry this is SO LONG! Your story hits me hard. I have been married for seven years, and dated him for three years. He was a recovering alcoholic, sober for a year when we met. His family and all of his friends disowned him due to his drinking and bad behavior. Things went well for us until i married him. The night we married, he picked up the bottle again. He began a downward spiral, in and out of rehab programs and hospitalized for his mental health a few times. During one visit he was diagnosed as a sociopath. My teenage daughter and i left him in 2012. Then he fell very ill, lost tons of weight quickly, and contacted me two months after i left him begging me to help. He was too sick to work or pay rent, so i let him come live with us again and took him to a doctor. He was told he had Graves disease and to stop drinking. He took his meds and still drank. After two years of his drinking and mental abuse, i told him to tell me where he wanted to go, and i would send him there. We wanted him out. He picked Texas. Life became peaceful for my daughter and I the next six months. He was doing horrible in Texas; homeless, drinking, and getting arrested for disorderly conduct. Then, in 2015, he developed diabetes due to a combination of his drinking, Graves Disease, and genetics. His health spiraled downward quickly. He is a brittle diabetic. My daughter had just moved into her own place, he was homeless and in and out of intensive care with ketoacidosis and blood sugar between 750 and 850 every time. He was dying. I felt so bad for him, i took a leave of absence from work, flew to Texas, and got a weekly rent studio apartment to move him into. I worked two waitressing positions, paid the rent, took care of him, and helped him obtain health insurance. He was gaining weight and looking healthier after a month. The second month in he took money out of my purse and came home high on synthetic weed. A few days later, he took my debit card while i was sleeping and withdrew money, then put the card back in my wallet. He was gone when i woke up and came back high again. I booked a plane back to my home state and left. He has been in contact intermittently since then. He believes i shouldn't hold his behavior against him because " it's in the past" and has never really shown remorse. He did stop drinking last year, because he finally realized it would kill him, moved to another state, got a job, car, and an apartment. Being brittle, he recently became sick again and is in and out of the intensive care unit with ketoacidosis every other week. He collapsed in public when his blood sugar plummeted to 25. He is in bad health and lost his job and apartment once again because of it. He is mean, sociopathic, and i don't l don't want to be around him. And he is begging me once again to rescue him before he dies homeless on the street. I just can't this time. The thought of going down there makes me physically sick. The guilt is overwhelming because i am his only lifeline/meal ticket/nurse. The only reason i take his calls is because of the guilt i feel for abandoning him when he is so sick. He is still mentally abusive(insults and put downs constantly) and unremorseful for anything he has said or done. I dont want to get that call saying he has passed away. Why do i feel that turning my back on him and not answering his calls or messages is like standing with arms folded and waiting for him to die? I don't know how to get rid of this horrible guilt I'm feeling.
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Sorry this is SO LONG! Your story hits me hard. I have been married for seven years, and dated him for three years. He was a recovering alcoholic, sober for a year when we met. His family and all of his friends disowned him due to his drinking and bad behavior. Things went well for us until i married him. The night we married, he picked up the bottle again. He began a downward spiral, in and out of rehab programs and hospitalized for his mental health a few times. During one visit he was diagnosed as a sociopath. My teenage daughter and i left him in 2012. Then he fell very ill, lost tons of weight quickly, and contacted me two months after i left him begging me to help. He was too sick to work or pay rent, so i let him come live with us again and took him to a doctor. He was told he had Graves disease and to stop drinking. He took his meds and still drank. After two years of his drinking and mental abuse, i told him to tell me where he wanted to go, and i would send him there. We wanted him out. He picked Texas. Life became peaceful for my daughter and I the next six months. He was doing horrible in Texas; homeless, drinking, and getting arrested for disorderly conduct. Then, in 2015, he developed diabetes due to a combination of his drinking, Graves Disease, and genetics. His health spiraled downward quickly. He is a brittle diabetic. My daughter had just moved into her own place, he was homeless and in and out of intensive care with ketoacidosis and blood sugar between 750 and 850 every time. He was dying. I felt so bad for him, i took a leave of absence from work, flew to Texas, and got a weekly rent studio apartment to move him into. I worked two waitressing positions, paid the rent, took care of him, and helped him obtain health insurance. He was gaining weight and looking healthier after a month. The second month in he took money out of my purse and came home high on synthetic weed. A few days later, he took my debit card while i was sleeping and withdrew money, then put the card back in my wallet. He was gone when i woke up and came back high again. I booked a plane back to my home state and left. He has been in contact intermittently since then. He believes i shouldn't hold his behavior against him because " it's in the past" and has never really shown remorse. He did stop drinking last year, because he finally realized it would kill him, moved to another state, got a job, car, and an apartment. Being brittle, he recently became sick again and is in and out of the intensive care unit with ketoacidosis every other week. He collapsed in public when his blood sugar plummeted to 25. He is in bad health and lost his job and apartment once again because of it. He is mean, sociopathic, and i don't l don't want to be around him. And he is begging me once again to rescue him before he dies homeless on the street. I just can't this time. The thought of going down there makes me physically sick. The guilt is overwhelming because i am his only lifeline/meal ticket/nurse. The only reason i take his calls is because of the guilt i feel for abandoning him when he is so sick. He is still mentally abusive(insults and put downs constantly) and unremorseful for anything he has said or done. I dont want to get that call saying he has passed away. Why do i feel that turning my back on him and not answering his calls or messages is like standing with arms folded and waiting for him to die? I don't know how to get rid of this horrible guilt I'm feeling.
November 24, 2017 - 2:16pmThis Comment
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