I am in an almost identical situation. I have been married to my husband for 5 years. When we first got together I knew that he was ill.....he has a chronic heart condition and a pulmonary embolism that could rupture at any moment and kill him. He also suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome which means that he sleeps up to 14 hours per day....sometimes more. He has become increasingly dependent on me and because I love him very much I do not mind being his full time carer (he absolutely refuses to allow me to ask our Doctor for outside help). He is now struggling to walk or even stand un-aided. I have to help him bathe and he is a well built man and I really don't have the physical strength to do this for him but there is no-one else who can help.
I never get a break....I haven't had a holiday for years.
However, it is his mental condition that I am REALLY struggling with.
He was diagnosed with Schizophrenia some years ago when he was sectioned after having a breakdown. This was before I met him.
His moods and rages are just awful.....a couple of times he has been physically abusive to me.
The things he says to me during his rages are terrible......I end up in floods of tears, which is very unlike me.....I used to be so strong.
I have clinical depression and in all honesty I no longer know which way to turn.
Oh and I almost forgot...... and he also has a drink and a gambling problem.
I am not blaming him.....it isn't his fault that he is mentally and physically ill........I feel so sorry for him.....and I know that he does love me very much.......but I don't know how much longer I can cope. I have started to feel so tired and drained all the time......really exhausted.
I could go and live with my sister if I wanted to (she has offered).......but I know that the guilt of leaving him would destroy me. He has no-one in the world but me.
What worries me is that recently I have been toying with the idea of suicide......and I believe that I would do it but for the fact that this would leave him entirely alone in the world, and what sort of woman would I be if I did that? But the idea is definitely there in my mind, growing like a seed.
In many ways I feel more like his mother than his wife........I am sorry for going on about my problems.....I guess I just needed to release what I am going through to people who I know will understand.....thank you for listening.
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I am in an almost identical situation. I have been married to my husband for 5 years. When we first got together I knew that he was ill.....he has a chronic heart condition and a pulmonary embolism that could rupture at any moment and kill him. He also suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome which means that he sleeps up to 14 hours per day....sometimes more. He has become increasingly dependent on me and because I love him very much I do not mind being his full time carer (he absolutely refuses to allow me to ask our Doctor for outside help). He is now struggling to walk or even stand un-aided. I have to help him bathe and he is a well built man and I really don't have the physical strength to do this for him but there is no-one else who can help.
September 20, 2018 - 5:24amI never get a break....I haven't had a holiday for years.
However, it is his mental condition that I am REALLY struggling with.
He was diagnosed with Schizophrenia some years ago when he was sectioned after having a breakdown. This was before I met him.
His moods and rages are just awful.....a couple of times he has been physically abusive to me.
The things he says to me during his rages are terrible......I end up in floods of tears, which is very unlike me.....I used to be so strong.
I have clinical depression and in all honesty I no longer know which way to turn.
Oh and I almost forgot...... and he also has a drink and a gambling problem.
I am not blaming him.....it isn't his fault that he is mentally and physically ill........I feel so sorry for him.....and I know that he does love me very much.......but I don't know how much longer I can cope. I have started to feel so tired and drained all the time......really exhausted.
I could go and live with my sister if I wanted to (she has offered).......but I know that the guilt of leaving him would destroy me. He has no-one in the world but me.
What worries me is that recently I have been toying with the idea of suicide......and I believe that I would do it but for the fact that this would leave him entirely alone in the world, and what sort of woman would I be if I did that? But the idea is definitely there in my mind, growing like a seed.
In many ways I feel more like his mother than his wife........I am sorry for going on about my problems.....I guess I just needed to release what I am going through to people who I know will understand.....thank you for listening.
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