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I think self-care must be tied into self-worth.

I say this from the point of view of someone who let most of my self-care slip over the years that I was out of the workplace.

I gained weight. Sometimes I didn't get dressed in anything but sweats. Forget "extra" things like lunches with friends or small impulsive splurges -- when I wasn't earning money, I felt like I shouldn't spend it, either.

I wish I understood why working outside the house -- and having external deadlines and external responsibilities -- seems so much more important and "worthwhile" than working inside the house, or having internal deadlines or internal goals and responsibilities. Why do I not care how I look when no one sees me, but I do care when they do? Is that hypocrisy? (I guess in a way it's like making the bed. Why do we make the bed if we're just getting back in it that night, and no one sees it in between?)

I need help with this, because I'm not happy when I feel this way. I'm working now and it helps. But I'm not sure where to start with the overal feeling that I no longer am worth the things I used to be worth. Tell me how I get past this feeling so that I can move on and accomplish some things for myself?