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Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Sure---this is a fun topic! :)

I agree with your philosophy of therapy, by the way.

That is funny that you are both on the fence about having kids. You do sound like you would be a good mother--you are already doing your research, weighing the pros and cons...

I had a very hard time with the status change, but honestly, I've always had a problem with this. I'm the type of person that wants to "fit in" beyond everything else (probably why I got pregnant in high school...LOL!).

I look younger than I am (still get carded), and felt like when I was pregnant people were looking at me as a pregnant teenager. I started sharing some of my feelings with some trusted (older) colleagues, and they basically shattered all of my fears! They told me that I don't really look as young as I think I do...ha ha! I talked about feeling "too young" (and I was 30!) and was just told over and over again "You're not". I guess one day, I just believed it. Same with becoming a mom. I actually remember 2 weeks after I delivered, my son was at home with my husband, and I went to the grocery store for the first time. I walked in feeling drugged---I thought the whole store should stop to look at me...I'm a MOM! Couldn't they see the change?! It was the strangest feeling in the world.

So, once I became a mom, I joined a few mom's clubs, and instantly felt "cool again". Other moms who are in their early/late 30s who have kids, and also used to be cool. I "fit in" with another group of women, who are smart, have degrees, know what's going on in the world...but also like to have fun, go dancing, go out for drinks, etc. I found it to be the best of both worlds. I actually have more friends now, feel more confident and happy with my friends than I ever did before.

I did have issues with breastfeeding. Do you mean in public? I was never able to breastfeed in public, even though I consider myself an independent, strong, liberal woman. The mom's groups were a good semi-public place to breastfeed; otherwise, I just breastfeed at home and pumped (so I had a bottle to bring along with me in public). I only breastfed for 3 months; I would do things differently next time.

And, yes, I do feel like there is more meaning to life. Absolutely!

Good luck and best wishes!!!

January 27, 2009 - 3:31pm


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