Hi,
I'm glad you found EmpowHer...let's see if we can help you.
After reading your story and questions, I'm wondering if you are feeling sexually satisfied after being intimate with your husband (on most occasions)? You mentioned that sex with your husband is wonderful but it's "not enough"...could you be more specific?
I'm also wondering if you feel that he is meeting your needs in other areas: do you feel that he is providing you with the attention, communication, emotional connection, understanding and love that you are desiring and needing?
The reason for my questions are to know more about your current situation, even if it is difficult to talk about the truth (you can still have a happy marriage, but want or need a few things to change...it's OK!). We can help you begin to sort out what you are lacking or needing more of in your marriage, both the sexual intimacy aspects and other factors as well.
It's unfortunate that your husband is turned off by your higher sex drive, but I can see from his point of view: he may feel intimidated, you may come across as demanding, he feels inadequate as you mentioned...or any other issue(s) that are no one's fault, but once defined, can be addressed. This is one area where you can modify your behavior towards him, and observe yourself. Have you talked with him (when you are not highly aroused) about what he likes/dislikes about his sex life and intimacy with you? How often does he like to have intercourse versus other acts of intimacy? What do you both have in common as far as your preferences, and what is different? Is a compromise possible?
It does make sense that you are feeling more sexual and free to express your sexual-self, as you have a new husband, you have recently lost weight, you have reached milestones in your life (menopause) with relatively little/no symptoms, your exercising and healthy... life is good! :-)
Can you tell us more about this "uncontrollable urge"? Is it impairing your life to such an extent that this is all you think about, or does it cycle through some days as being more difficult than others? Would you describe this urge as happening always, frequently, often? Have you noticed any triggers (beyond exercising, which does make sense: your heart rate is increased, blood flowing, breathing is accelerated...the same responses as what occurs in the Sexual Response Cycle during Sexual Arousal!). I'm wondering if simply knowing that you are OK and normal will help you feel better, that there is likely nothing wrong with you?
If not, then we can help you further, and perhaps talking with your Gynecologist about your high libido can also help. Hope to hear back from you soon.
Comment Reply
Hi,
I'm glad you found EmpowHer...let's see if we can help you.
After reading your story and questions, I'm wondering if you are feeling sexually satisfied after being intimate with your husband (on most occasions)? You mentioned that sex with your husband is wonderful but it's "not enough"...could you be more specific?
I'm also wondering if you feel that he is meeting your needs in other areas: do you feel that he is providing you with the attention, communication, emotional connection, understanding and love that you are desiring and needing?
The reason for my questions are to know more about your current situation, even if it is difficult to talk about the truth (you can still have a happy marriage, but want or need a few things to change...it's OK!). We can help you begin to sort out what you are lacking or needing more of in your marriage, both the sexual intimacy aspects and other factors as well.
It's unfortunate that your husband is turned off by your higher sex drive, but I can see from his point of view: he may feel intimidated, you may come across as demanding, he feels inadequate as you mentioned...or any other issue(s) that are no one's fault, but once defined, can be addressed. This is one area where you can modify your behavior towards him, and observe yourself. Have you talked with him (when you are not highly aroused) about what he likes/dislikes about his sex life and intimacy with you? How often does he like to have intercourse versus other acts of intimacy? What do you both have in common as far as your preferences, and what is different? Is a compromise possible?
It does make sense that you are feeling more sexual and free to express your sexual-self, as you have a new husband, you have recently lost weight, you have reached milestones in your life (menopause) with relatively little/no symptoms, your exercising and healthy... life is good! :-)
Can you tell us more about this "uncontrollable urge"? Is it impairing your life to such an extent that this is all you think about, or does it cycle through some days as being more difficult than others? Would you describe this urge as happening always, frequently, often? Have you noticed any triggers (beyond exercising, which does make sense: your heart rate is increased, blood flowing, breathing is accelerated...the same responses as what occurs in the Sexual Response Cycle during Sexual Arousal!). I'm wondering if simply knowing that you are OK and normal will help you feel better, that there is likely nothing wrong with you?
If not, then we can help you further, and perhaps talking with your Gynecologist about your high libido can also help. Hope to hear back from you soon.
June 21, 2009 - 8:14pmThis Comment
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