The first article on page 9 caught my attention. I have need divorced for over 10 years and separated from my Ex for over 13. She has attempted to destroy me emotionally, financially, mentally, spiritually, and even physically. She has alienated me from my children. Thankfully now they are older and they see now that my actions are not consistent with what their mother tells them about me. I was in love with this woman so long ago, so I take responsibility for everything that has happened to me. I was warned by many people about her. But she had a charming disposition and magnetism about her.
Looking back is wasn't her charming ways. It was how she had broken me down to nothing. I embarrassed to admit it now, but we married after college. It wasn't long before she began cheating on me with a state trooper. I had no idea this was going on, until I came home and he was standing in the front door with his gun, telling me I wasn't welcome there, this was not my home anymore. My wife (at the time) wouldn't allow me to get anything from "our" house. I had a vehicle, and I had nothing else. So I stayed with friends a few nights, hoping she would talk with me just to let me get my clothes at least. When I approached her after leaving work, she ran away from me like she was scared to death of me and I was going to hurt her. When I never laid a finger on this woman. When I say that I had no clue that she was cheating with this police officer - I REALLY HAD NO CLUE.
So she ran away from me screaming, called the cops and put a restraining order against me claiming I was stalking her after work (keep in mind this was over 25 years ago)
So I had no other choice but to get in my car, call my parents, tell them what happened — they really couldn't understand. I drove home to Chicago from Florida that day.
A few years went by and I had not heard a word from her. And was moving on with my life. I passed the bar exam, and begin working in Michigan. Of course she crossed my mind every now and again, but only because I was still so confused and wondered "what happened?" I had never experienced anything of this in my life. One day my wife was in love with me, we would walk the beach at night holding hands and laughing. Then out of nowhere she has moved the cop in. It made no sense, still doesn't.
This is where my blame comes in, and why I must take responsibility for the rest of the things that have occurred. So after not hearing from her for about three years, I get a call from her. My jaw dropped. I didn't know what to say. I was in shock. She was very apologetic, crying and begging for my forgiveness.
I had thought I was completely over her in that situation. Even though I still every day felt lasting effects of the trauma of the betrayal from her. She said to me " I made a huge mistake. I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life. Please forgive me please give me one more chance please please please I love you". She proceeded to say that she wanted a family. And the only person that she would ever want to be the father of her children were as me. She realize she was wrong and she was going through all kinds of emotional problems and she hurt me and she was so sorry. And I really believed her .
AND THAT WAS MY DOWN-FALL.
Her parents had a lot of money. She said that she wanted us to move to her home town state in the south, and I could take the bar exam there and she would also and we would be attorneys together. Believe me when I say that this woman is the most convincing liar I have ever met. And probably will ever meet in my life. She can do the most horrific things to a person, but Is somehow able to convince others that she did those things because of emotional problems (that she blames on her mother and step dad)
I finally agreed that I wanted to be with her and wanted the family she described with the cute house and white picket fence. I truly in my heart felt that she was being genuine, sincere, and that she was truly sorry for the pain that she caused me. So as soon as I got loose ends tied up in Michigan, I packed everything I had and made the drive south to be with her again. Of course in the beginning is was just as amazing as I remembered her. Smart, energetic and was Moving fast in her law career.
She wanted children so badly. It became an obsession. She could have any. Of course I felt terrible about this for her. We did many failed IVF treatments and finally one of them was successful. Pregnant with triplets. We were excited, and happy. I had never been happier. She was finally happy too. The babies were due to be born in January, but she went into labor at the end of September. The chances of the babies surviving didn't look good. She had an emergency C-section, and two of the babies ended up dying. And one survived. But was so tiny she had to stay in the hospital for months on a breathing machine not developed. She weighed barely a pound.
Ok, ok... This is getting long but had to explain some of the past events for the rest to make sense.
Our daughter finally a healthy little angel as abiut 4 years old when I felt she was having an affair. But she was just so good at what she did (lying, faking, excuses, etc...) I couldn't catch her. And I also was working full time myself. I didn't have time to check what she was up to. And now I had a daughter to care for. Because my wife (EX WIFE NOw) would disappear for days, I am not exaggerating days! So after work I had to pick up from day care. At this point in my life, I was upset and I could feel that there was something wrong with her. She always claimed depression whenever confronted. But she did not act like a depressed person-- unless of course she was confronted. Her disappearing became more frequent. At the time she had a HIGH PROFILE CAREER. And that was her excuse then, was she was having to work on this case, and she had to leave town fkr this case.
I was working full time. I couldn't check on her. And quite frankly I was afraid of her. I started to realize that she had the ability to destroy lives. I had seen her do it to people who crossed her. One of those people being her stepfather. My ex-wife was a very greedy woman. Superficial and greedy. She wanted a lot of money but she did not want to work hard to get it. She felt entitled to whatever her black hollow heart desired.
What I realized is she had been faking life. I now do not believe she ever was genuine, but she was a master at convincing others that she was. The last affair she had that completely annihilated our marriage and I wanted out of it for good (I would have gotten out sooner, but in all honesty I was afraid what she would do to my career and to my daughter. I had taken care of our child the first 7 years of her life. But I knew my ex would make sure she got sole custody and she would do whatever she had to do to get it. I was honestly afraid she would accuse me of sexually abusing our daughter. I was scared she would toss this accusation out there for A reason - I saw what she did to her step father who treated her like his own daughter, since she never met her real dad. She attempted to destroy her step fathers life by accusing him of molesting her and touching her private parts. She didn't say he did it when she was a child or teenager, she claimed it was after she had her child and was going to visit her mother, and that her Her step father Basically attempted to rape her, unsuccessfully. The true story is she went over to their house to ask for more money and wanted them to give her one of their cars (in her mind, she didn't understand why they woudnt let her have one of their cars, after all they were rich and had plenty of them — again her sense of entitlement. She did this when she was in her late 30s to him. Because he refused to give her any more money and one of his nice vehicles. They bought 2 cars for her in the past year and wrecked both within 6 months. And both accidents she had no insurance.
This is where she begins to fall apart. I was afraid of her and what she would do to my career and relationship with my daughter. I realized she was not depressed and never had been. Her problem was that she was cold as ice, she felt no remorse for others, she didn't care how she was making my life, daughters, sisters, mother, aunts, uncles - basically anyone who knew her suffered to some extent.
Ok so the man she was last having a relationship with was married as well. His wife found out and sh*t hit the fan(excuse my French). That's when she had been exposed and was doing damage control. So I finally filed for divorce. She also lost her profile job at this time. Since the man that she was having an affair with was working in the same field she was. He was a public defense attorney, she was the prosecutor. Once the chief prosecutor found out about this he asked her to resign as soon as possible and say little about anything. Because of the controversy it would've caused the entire town.
We are talking about she was prosecuting the worst of the worst - murderers. And not because she loved to see justice be done in honor of the victim or their family. She wanted that job for the notoriety.
Once she was no longer working with the city, she opened her own private law practice. And she was a well-known prosecutor. So she had many clients come in that wanted her to represent them. She took their $5000 retainer fees and promised in the world. Only the client would never hear from her again. But she sure would cash their check. When so many angry clients were calling non stop, wanting updates on what was going to happen with their case. She has her " secretary " (I actually think it was her housekeeper) answer all the calls. And would tell any client inquiring about where she was, that she had been diagnosed with stage for ovarian cancer and was in the hospital and could possibly die
I remember I got a few calls at my work from her clients who had paid her money asking me if I knew what was going on with her. I replied that we were no longer married and I did not know what she was doing or where she was at. And that's when they would tell me that the secretary told them she had stage for ovarian cancer. I knew it was a lie. But I didn't say anything. Again all I wanted was for her to leave me alone. I never said a negative thing about her to our child. And to this day I still have it. But the second our daughter is with her she says the worst things about me and how I used to do this in my past or what not. All of it lies. She wanted daughter to stop seeing me As a good father. But it didn't work - my kid remembered who basically raised her.
The drama all came back in full force speed when I met someone. Even though he had already remarried the last man she had the affair with that made her end up losing her job. And they were still married. But I am assuming she just never wanted me to get remarried because she would rather me just be miserable. And she lied she faked she's done it all. I don't believe she is mentally ill or even bipolar. I have done a lot of research especially once I got remarried and instead of tormenting me she begins to torment my new wife who was innocent and all this and had never experienced evil on this level.
I came to my own personal conclusion that she is either a narcissist or sociopath. Or a
narcissistic-sociopath. My new wife had no idea what that was. When I had told my new wife my suspicions of my ex being a sociopath she was didn't know what to think. She thought sociopaths were killers. Like Ted bunch, Wayne gracy, that kind of person. And they are all sociopaths, but just The killing type. There is sociopaths and narcissist who don't kill. Well they don't kill you physically but they will kill you mentally emotionally and in every other horrible way. Most wish they were dead after dealing with one of these evil individuals
That's my story. I have been holding onto this inside me for so long. I needed to express it somehow. I was actually really diagnosed with cancer almost 2 years ago. Colon cancer, it was genetic. It was caught early and the only people that knew about it were close friends, family and obviously my work associate, since would need his help for a small time while I had the colon resection surgery.
It's never been medically proven I do not think. But I believe that I put up with so much of what my ex-wife did to me for so many years and I didn't tell anyone about it. I tried to ignore it and I tried to push it out of my mind and I tried to pretend nothing happened and just tried to live my life because if I did any thing else at that time I probably would have gone insane. So at the time when my ex-wife was trying to make my life as miserable as possible and then begin to target my new wife and really make her life miserable I had t thing else at that time I probably would have gone insane. So at the time when my ex-wife was trying to make my life as miserable as possible and then begin to target my new wife and really make her life miserable I didn't know what else to do but pretend everything was ok. I didn't want my child to see the fear. And I always hoped that my ex wife would one day have a life changing experience in her life and change, just become a better person. But now I see that was really non realistic for me to think that way, I just wanted it for our daughter's sake.
I have now been married for almost 8 years to my new wife. My daughter is 17 years old and I have not spoken a word to my ex-wife in over two years. Once we cut off all contact with her our life became a little better and a lot easier. Because any interaction with her was not good. Everything she did was malicious. Even if it was just me letting her know I would pick up our daughter from school, she would make sure she got to the school early and checked out the child just so I would wait in carpool line just to get there and my child was not at school. As darter got older, I got her a cell phone and I communicate only through her. That did infuriate my ex-wife because at that point she could feel she was losing control Of me. And she was.
Ok everyone. Thanks for listening. Sorry for the rambling
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The first article on page 9 caught my attention. I have need divorced for over 10 years and separated from my Ex for over 13. She has attempted to destroy me emotionally, financially, mentally, spiritually, and even physically. She has alienated me from my children. Thankfully now they are older and they see now that my actions are not consistent with what their mother tells them about me. I was in love with this woman so long ago, so I take responsibility for everything that has happened to me. I was warned by many people about her. But she had a charming disposition and magnetism about her.
Looking back is wasn't her charming ways. It was how she had broken me down to nothing. I embarrassed to admit it now, but we married after college. It wasn't long before she began cheating on me with a state trooper. I had no idea this was going on, until I came home and he was standing in the front door with his gun, telling me I wasn't welcome there, this was not my home anymore. My wife (at the time) wouldn't allow me to get anything from "our" house. I had a vehicle, and I had nothing else. So I stayed with friends a few nights, hoping she would talk with me just to let me get my clothes at least. When I approached her after leaving work, she ran away from me like she was scared to death of me and I was going to hurt her. When I never laid a finger on this woman. When I say that I had no clue that she was cheating with this police officer - I REALLY HAD NO CLUE.
So she ran away from me screaming, called the cops and put a restraining order against me claiming I was stalking her after work (keep in mind this was over 25 years ago)
So I had no other choice but to get in my car, call my parents, tell them what happened — they really couldn't understand. I drove home to Chicago from Florida that day.
A few years went by and I had not heard a word from her. And was moving on with my life. I passed the bar exam, and begin working in Michigan. Of course she crossed my mind every now and again, but only because I was still so confused and wondered "what happened?" I had never experienced anything of this in my life. One day my wife was in love with me, we would walk the beach at night holding hands and laughing. Then out of nowhere she has moved the cop in. It made no sense, still doesn't.
This is where my blame comes in, and why I must take responsibility for the rest of the things that have occurred. So after not hearing from her for about three years, I get a call from her. My jaw dropped. I didn't know what to say. I was in shock. She was very apologetic, crying and begging for my forgiveness.
I had thought I was completely over her in that situation. Even though I still every day felt lasting effects of the trauma of the betrayal from her. She said to me " I made a huge mistake. I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life. Please forgive me please give me one more chance please please please I love you". She proceeded to say that she wanted a family. And the only person that she would ever want to be the father of her children were as me. She realize she was wrong and she was going through all kinds of emotional problems and she hurt me and she was so sorry. And I really believed her .
AND THAT WAS MY DOWN-FALL.
Her parents had a lot of money. She said that she wanted us to move to her home town state in the south, and I could take the bar exam there and she would also and we would be attorneys together. Believe me when I say that this woman is the most convincing liar I have ever met. And probably will ever meet in my life. She can do the most horrific things to a person, but Is somehow able to convince others that she did those things because of emotional problems (that she blames on her mother and step dad)
I finally agreed that I wanted to be with her and wanted the family she described with the cute house and white picket fence. I truly in my heart felt that she was being genuine, sincere, and that she was truly sorry for the pain that she caused me. So as soon as I got loose ends tied up in Michigan, I packed everything I had and made the drive south to be with her again. Of course in the beginning is was just as amazing as I remembered her. Smart, energetic and was Moving fast in her law career.
She wanted children so badly. It became an obsession. She could have any. Of course I felt terrible about this for her. We did many failed IVF treatments and finally one of them was successful. Pregnant with triplets. We were excited, and happy. I had never been happier. She was finally happy too. The babies were due to be born in January, but she went into labor at the end of September. The chances of the babies surviving didn't look good. She had an emergency C-section, and two of the babies ended up dying. And one survived. But was so tiny she had to stay in the hospital for months on a breathing machine not developed. She weighed barely a pound.
Ok, ok... This is getting long but had to explain some of the past events for the rest to make sense.
Our daughter finally a healthy little angel as abiut 4 years old when I felt she was having an affair. But she was just so good at what she did (lying, faking, excuses, etc...) I couldn't catch her. And I also was working full time myself. I didn't have time to check what she was up to. And now I had a daughter to care for. Because my wife (EX WIFE NOw) would disappear for days, I am not exaggerating days! So after work I had to pick up from day care. At this point in my life, I was upset and I could feel that there was something wrong with her. She always claimed depression whenever confronted. But she did not act like a depressed person-- unless of course she was confronted. Her disappearing became more frequent. At the time she had a HIGH PROFILE CAREER. And that was her excuse then, was she was having to work on this case, and she had to leave town fkr this case.
I was working full time. I couldn't check on her. And quite frankly I was afraid of her. I started to realize that she had the ability to destroy lives. I had seen her do it to people who crossed her. One of those people being her stepfather. My ex-wife was a very greedy woman. Superficial and greedy. She wanted a lot of money but she did not want to work hard to get it. She felt entitled to whatever her black hollow heart desired.
What I realized is she had been faking life. I now do not believe she ever was genuine, but she was a master at convincing others that she was. The last affair she had that completely annihilated our marriage and I wanted out of it for good (I would have gotten out sooner, but in all honesty I was afraid what she would do to my career and to my daughter. I had taken care of our child the first 7 years of her life. But I knew my ex would make sure she got sole custody and she would do whatever she had to do to get it. I was honestly afraid she would accuse me of sexually abusing our daughter. I was scared she would toss this accusation out there for A reason - I saw what she did to her step father who treated her like his own daughter, since she never met her real dad. She attempted to destroy her step fathers life by accusing him of molesting her and touching her private parts. She didn't say he did it when she was a child or teenager, she claimed it was after she had her child and was going to visit her mother, and that her Her step father Basically attempted to rape her, unsuccessfully. The true story is she went over to their house to ask for more money and wanted them to give her one of their cars (in her mind, she didn't understand why they woudnt let her have one of their cars, after all they were rich and had plenty of them — again her sense of entitlement. She did this when she was in her late 30s to him. Because he refused to give her any more money and one of his nice vehicles. They bought 2 cars for her in the past year and wrecked both within 6 months. And both accidents she had no insurance.
This is where she begins to fall apart. I was afraid of her and what she would do to my career and relationship with my daughter. I realized she was not depressed and never had been. Her problem was that she was cold as ice, she felt no remorse for others, she didn't care how she was making my life, daughters, sisters, mother, aunts, uncles - basically anyone who knew her suffered to some extent.
Ok so the man she was last having a relationship with was married as well. His wife found out and sh*t hit the fan(excuse my French). That's when she had been exposed and was doing damage control. So I finally filed for divorce. She also lost her profile job at this time. Since the man that she was having an affair with was working in the same field she was. He was a public defense attorney, she was the prosecutor. Once the chief prosecutor found out about this he asked her to resign as soon as possible and say little about anything. Because of the controversy it would've caused the entire town.
We are talking about she was prosecuting the worst of the worst - murderers. And not because she loved to see justice be done in honor of the victim or their family. She wanted that job for the notoriety.
Once she was no longer working with the city, she opened her own private law practice. And she was a well-known prosecutor. So she had many clients come in that wanted her to represent them. She took their $5000 retainer fees and promised in the world. Only the client would never hear from her again. But she sure would cash their check. When so many angry clients were calling non stop, wanting updates on what was going to happen with their case. She has her " secretary " (I actually think it was her housekeeper) answer all the calls. And would tell any client inquiring about where she was, that she had been diagnosed with stage for ovarian cancer and was in the hospital and could possibly die
I remember I got a few calls at my work from her clients who had paid her money asking me if I knew what was going on with her. I replied that we were no longer married and I did not know what she was doing or where she was at. And that's when they would tell me that the secretary told them she had stage for ovarian cancer. I knew it was a lie. But I didn't say anything. Again all I wanted was for her to leave me alone. I never said a negative thing about her to our child. And to this day I still have it. But the second our daughter is with her she says the worst things about me and how I used to do this in my past or what not. All of it lies. She wanted daughter to stop seeing me As a good father. But it didn't work - my kid remembered who basically raised her.
The drama all came back in full force speed when I met someone. Even though he had already remarried the last man she had the affair with that made her end up losing her job. And they were still married. But I am assuming she just never wanted me to get remarried because she would rather me just be miserable. And she lied she faked she's done it all. I don't believe she is mentally ill or even bipolar. I have done a lot of research especially once I got remarried and instead of tormenting me she begins to torment my new wife who was innocent and all this and had never experienced evil on this level.
I came to my own personal conclusion that she is either a narcissist or sociopath. Or a
narcissistic-sociopath. My new wife had no idea what that was. When I had told my new wife my suspicions of my ex being a sociopath she was didn't know what to think. She thought sociopaths were killers. Like Ted bunch, Wayne gracy, that kind of person. And they are all sociopaths, but just The killing type. There is sociopaths and narcissist who don't kill. Well they don't kill you physically but they will kill you mentally emotionally and in every other horrible way. Most wish they were dead after dealing with one of these evil individuals
That's my story. I have been holding onto this inside me for so long. I needed to express it somehow. I was actually really diagnosed with cancer almost 2 years ago. Colon cancer, it was genetic. It was caught early and the only people that knew about it were close friends, family and obviously my work associate, since would need his help for a small time while I had the colon resection surgery.
It's never been medically proven I do not think. But I believe that I put up with so much of what my ex-wife did to me for so many years and I didn't tell anyone about it. I tried to ignore it and I tried to push it out of my mind and I tried to pretend nothing happened and just tried to live my life because if I did any thing else at that time I probably would have gone insane. So at the time when my ex-wife was trying to make my life as miserable as possible and then begin to target my new wife and really make her life miserable I had t thing else at that time I probably would have gone insane. So at the time when my ex-wife was trying to make my life as miserable as possible and then begin to target my new wife and really make her life miserable I didn't know what else to do but pretend everything was ok. I didn't want my child to see the fear. And I always hoped that my ex wife would one day have a life changing experience in her life and change, just become a better person. But now I see that was really non realistic for me to think that way, I just wanted it for our daughter's sake.
I have now been married for almost 8 years to my new wife. My daughter is 17 years old and I have not spoken a word to my ex-wife in over two years. Once we cut off all contact with her our life became a little better and a lot easier. Because any interaction with her was not good. Everything she did was malicious. Even if it was just me letting her know I would pick up our daughter from school, she would make sure she got to the school early and checked out the child just so I would wait in carpool line just to get there and my child was not at school. As darter got older, I got her a cell phone and I communicate only through her. That did infuriate my ex-wife because at that point she could feel she was losing control Of me. And she was.
Ok everyone. Thanks for listening. Sorry for the rambling
June 19, 2016 - 4:21amThis Comment
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