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Anon,

Please don't think that it's "impossible" for you to have an orgasm. Just because it hasn't happened yet, at a relatively young age and with just a little experience, doesn't mean it can't or won't. The fact that you have always enjoyed your sexual experiences is exactly how you want to feel right now. The fact that you can focus on the pleasurable feelings it gives you is a gift! And like Alison said, it may be that the boyfriend who mentioned this to you was feeling vulnerable himself, feeling that it said something negative about him.

For men, climax is more of a physical reaction; for women, it is often more tied up in our feelings -- of love, freedom, acceptance, and feeling that we are completely safe in being open to our partner. It often takes us more time to figure out what works for us.

Here's a very good story on this from ABC news:

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Story?id=2497517&page=1

And I thought this article was interesting, also. It also compares the differences in what happens in men's and women's brains in arousal:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article535521.ece

Hope some of this helps you know that you're completely normal.

March 11, 2009 - 9:27am

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