I can certainly share a personal story on this note. I come from a very abusive childhood with a physically and emotionally abusive father. I am now almost 32 years old and very clearly show signs of past abuse.
Most of my issues stem directly in relationships with men. I have a ton of friends: male and female. When it comes to relationships is when I notice things the most. Once one small thing happens in a relationship that causes me to distrust a person, a wall so tall and thick grows around me that no one can break down. It takes a large Army to knock down one brick.
If I see a daughter with their father and there is a connection between the two of them, I am instantly uncomfortable. If a man, (in a father figure role) asks me questions about myself, I am completely uncomfortable and want to say, “It's none of your business.”
There is a huge problem in the relationship field. I cannot let myself fully fall for someone. I get stuck in a place that I am very uncomfortable and always holding back. It is the worst feeling. It is horrible when you really feel like you love someone but cannot open yourself fully to that person because of fear of failure and fear of being hurt. Not that someone will hit you or character assassinate you but the feeling that they will let you down.
I thought for many years, I was okay with what happened to me and my family growing up, but it is clearly not the case. I am a bit broken. I recently thought about seeking counseling for this especially since there is a very nice guy that came into my life and I want something out of it. I hate the idea that I would treat him badly for my own past that seems to haunt me every time I get close to someone.
If I can share any advise, go and seek counseling. Whether you know it or not, there is an underlying reason that you asked this question and why you feel the way you do. Sometimes it is out of our physical control and it is okay. There is an answer and a light at the end of the tunnel. We are here for you every step of the way.
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I can certainly share a personal story on this note. I come from a very abusive childhood with a physically and emotionally abusive father. I am now almost 32 years old and very clearly show signs of past abuse.
Most of my issues stem directly in relationships with men. I have a ton of friends: male and female. When it comes to relationships is when I notice things the most. Once one small thing happens in a relationship that causes me to distrust a person, a wall so tall and thick grows around me that no one can break down. It takes a large Army to knock down one brick.
If I see a daughter with their father and there is a connection between the two of them, I am instantly uncomfortable. If a man, (in a father figure role) asks me questions about myself, I am completely uncomfortable and want to say, “It's none of your business.”
There is a huge problem in the relationship field. I cannot let myself fully fall for someone. I get stuck in a place that I am very uncomfortable and always holding back. It is the worst feeling. It is horrible when you really feel like you love someone but cannot open yourself fully to that person because of fear of failure and fear of being hurt. Not that someone will hit you or character assassinate you but the feeling that they will let you down.
I thought for many years, I was okay with what happened to me and my family growing up, but it is clearly not the case. I am a bit broken. I recently thought about seeking counseling for this especially since there is a very nice guy that came into my life and I want something out of it. I hate the idea that I would treat him badly for my own past that seems to haunt me every time I get close to someone.
If I can share any advise, go and seek counseling. Whether you know it or not, there is an underlying reason that you asked this question and why you feel the way you do. Sometimes it is out of our physical control and it is okay. There is an answer and a light at the end of the tunnel. We are here for you every step of the way.
March 14, 2009 - 2:25pmThis Comment
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