I am curious now---when he asked you if he could take pictures of you, what was the context? Are they provocative pictures, nude pictures, or pornography pictures...big difference between these three!
It sounds like you are interested in the idea of taking pictures, and of him having the pictures, so that it maybe helps "remind him" of what he's got in you, when you two are physically separated? Am I reading that right?
I guess I still think his pornography addiction is an entirely separate issue; having naked pictures of you is not going to positively or negatively effect his porn addiction; it's too complicated. Imagine all of the people who have a porn addiction, and if something as simple as a naked picture of their loved one "helped" their addiction or relationship in any way...they would all be helped or cured and it would be a miracle treatment. Obviously, this is not so. I, like the other women who have posted, are more concerned with other aspects of his swapping the pictures, and any future regrets you may have.
So, perhaps this is not a black-and-white issue. Personally, I would ONLY take pictures of myself, and give them to a man that I am separated from, ONLY if I did not mind that 99% of my friends and family would potentially see them. Is there a picture you could give him that is slightly provocative, but not revealing...so maybe that helps ease your mind, while also protecting yourself? I would also only "let him" take sexy pictures of you if you have possession of the camera, you decide on, and send him, the picture(s) he can have (again, assuming you don't mind others seeing the pictures...accidentally or not...on the internet).
Please know: if you truly think your husband has an addiction, it does not make sense to also think that he will be able to control his behavior with your photos...an addict does not have control over their addictive behavior (by definition), even if they are a "good" person in every-other way...it's not about the person, it's about their addictive behavior that they need help with.
And, since you asked, after writing, I personally would only take a picture that is sexual in nature if it was equally for me, either erotic or just fun...it would have absolutely nothing to do with if it would help him or help the relationship. It needs to be for the right reasons. Most importantly: what is your reason for wanting to take the picture...I don't think you've told us this!
We're wishing you the best, and I'm also glad to hear that you two are in counseling.
Comment Reply
silver_girl,
I am curious now---when he asked you if he could take pictures of you, what was the context? Are they provocative pictures, nude pictures, or pornography pictures...big difference between these three!
It sounds like you are interested in the idea of taking pictures, and of him having the pictures, so that it maybe helps "remind him" of what he's got in you, when you two are physically separated? Am I reading that right?
I guess I still think his pornography addiction is an entirely separate issue; having naked pictures of you is not going to positively or negatively effect his porn addiction; it's too complicated. Imagine all of the people who have a porn addiction, and if something as simple as a naked picture of their loved one "helped" their addiction or relationship in any way...they would all be helped or cured and it would be a miracle treatment. Obviously, this is not so. I, like the other women who have posted, are more concerned with other aspects of his swapping the pictures, and any future regrets you may have.
So, perhaps this is not a black-and-white issue. Personally, I would ONLY take pictures of myself, and give them to a man that I am separated from, ONLY if I did not mind that 99% of my friends and family would potentially see them. Is there a picture you could give him that is slightly provocative, but not revealing...so maybe that helps ease your mind, while also protecting yourself? I would also only "let him" take sexy pictures of you if you have possession of the camera, you decide on, and send him, the picture(s) he can have (again, assuming you don't mind others seeing the pictures...accidentally or not...on the internet).
Please know: if you truly think your husband has an addiction, it does not make sense to also think that he will be able to control his behavior with your photos...an addict does not have control over their addictive behavior (by definition), even if they are a "good" person in every-other way...it's not about the person, it's about their addictive behavior that they need help with.
And, since you asked, after writing, I personally would only take a picture that is sexual in nature if it was equally for me, either erotic or just fun...it would have absolutely nothing to do with if it would help him or help the relationship. It needs to be for the right reasons. Most importantly: what is your reason for wanting to take the picture...I don't think you've told us this!
We're wishing you the best, and I'm also glad to hear that you two are in counseling.
March 17, 2009 - 11:50amThis Comment
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