P.S. I still take the pristiq, out of habit, and I am afraid to stop because I feel maybe if I was not taking it I would feel worst, but I am seriously thinking of telling my doctor that it is not doing anything for me. This is Anonymous with the message on 7/11/2009. I have a very considerate husband and good children, but even to hear their voices annoy me, I wish I could live on an island all by myself and my misery. I shower because I have to but I have not cleaned my room in months, which by the way, I don't even share with my husband, I have books and clothing all over. When I get a little energy I clean the house but my room remains the same. I look at my room and I feel that is how my emotions are, that is how I see my life, all the beautiful things I have in that room do not matter, they are covered with clothing, and dust all over the place and I have hundreds of books laying around. I am really depressed, I would end it but I am a christian and I hang on to life by a thread, I pray and question God about my health. I have talked to people in church but some christians believe that I am not healed because I don't trust God enough but on the contrary my belief in God is what keeps my hope alive that one day I will get better and also keeps me from committing suicide. My aunt who is a christian thinks that I am possessed by a spirit of depression, I try to explain to her that it is an illness but she is from a different denomination and is set in her ways and beliefs, we were very close but I don't even want to talk to her now. I feel that I am not possessed, I'm just ill, but everytime she calls and I tell her I was asleep or I am very tired, or I feel sad, she has some demon or spirit possession explanation, she is the type of christian that believes only her church is the right church, every other christian church, in her book, is doing the work of the devil. Even if I try to explain to her that depression is a disease, and that I am a child of an alcoholic, she seems not to understand this concept. I have explained to her that a christian is anyone that believes in Christ, that all denominations and names for these denominations are man made that basically there are only two commandments Love God before anyone else and love your neighbor as you would love yourself, if you keep these two commandments you will not kill, commit adultery, steal, because you would not do these things against yourself but she is just very opinionated even about the fact that we wear jeans to church, in her church it is not allowed. So according to her I am possessed by an evil spirit that wants to make me sleep all the time, nothing more ridiculous. I have isolated myself from other family, from friends, (I don't have any, I don't want any, I feel it requires a lot of work to have friends), I avoid social gatherings like the plague, even in church I go basically every sunday but I listen to the service and leave, I don't socialize. If someone has any words of wisdom please share them with me.
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P.S. I still take the pristiq, out of habit, and I am afraid to stop because I feel maybe if I was not taking it I would feel worst, but I am seriously thinking of telling my doctor that it is not doing anything for me. This is Anonymous with the message on 7/11/2009. I have a very considerate husband and good children, but even to hear their voices annoy me, I wish I could live on an island all by myself and my misery. I shower because I have to but I have not cleaned my room in months, which by the way, I don't even share with my husband, I have books and clothing all over. When I get a little energy I clean the house but my room remains the same. I look at my room and I feel that is how my emotions are, that is how I see my life, all the beautiful things I have in that room do not matter, they are covered with clothing, and dust all over the place and I have hundreds of books laying around. I am really depressed, I would end it but I am a christian and I hang on to life by a thread, I pray and question God about my health. I have talked to people in church but some christians believe that I am not healed because I don't trust God enough but on the contrary my belief in God is what keeps my hope alive that one day I will get better and also keeps me from committing suicide. My aunt who is a christian thinks that I am possessed by a spirit of depression, I try to explain to her that it is an illness but she is from a different denomination and is set in her ways and beliefs, we were very close but I don't even want to talk to her now. I feel that I am not possessed, I'm just ill, but everytime she calls and I tell her I was asleep or I am very tired, or I feel sad, she has some demon or spirit possession explanation, she is the type of christian that believes only her church is the right church, every other christian church, in her book, is doing the work of the devil. Even if I try to explain to her that depression is a disease, and that I am a child of an alcoholic, she seems not to understand this concept. I have explained to her that a christian is anyone that believes in Christ, that all denominations and names for these denominations are man made that basically there are only two commandments Love God before anyone else and love your neighbor as you would love yourself, if you keep these two commandments you will not kill, commit adultery, steal, because you would not do these things against yourself but she is just very opinionated even about the fact that we wear jeans to church, in her church it is not allowed. So according to her I am possessed by an evil spirit that wants to make me sleep all the time, nothing more ridiculous. I have isolated myself from other family, from friends, (I don't have any, I don't want any, I feel it requires a lot of work to have friends), I avoid social gatherings like the plague, even in church I go basically every sunday but I listen to the service and leave, I don't socialize. If someone has any words of wisdom please share them with me.
July 11, 2009 - 9:45amThis Comment
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