I asked my myself the questions.
Why dont you have anything? No job, no hobbies, no care if Im not more than a log under a rock. I suppose if you dont care, then none of these thoughts should make a difference. I had jobs, gfs, hobbies. Now i have the want to just wake up dead. I found my love years ago, unintentionally hurt her She is gone and i cant get over her. She knows i have no ambition, im selfish, arrogant and tend to hurt everyone that gets at all remotely close. I dont blame her for hee actions. Anyways not sure why im even telling this here. When the earth finally does rid itself of me I will be where i want. Too bad i couldn't find my way.