Hi,
Thanks for writing back! Let's see if this information helps you two (and, by saying you "two", is this something he is concerned about, or just you wondering if this means something bad about his feelings for you? Are you two able to talk about this, and for you to listen to his feelings and trust what he is saying?):
Men of all ages have trouble sometimes getting or maintaining an erection, and it can be from psychological or physical causes, which can include:
- "Physiologically: lack of sleep, alcohol use, underlying health condition. Other physical causes include hormonal imbalance or side effects of medications.
- Psychologically: stress, anxiety, guilt, depression, low self-esteem, and pressure from a new or "demanding" partner, or any pressure a man might be placing on himself".
Inconsistent erections can be lifestyle related, too, if your boyfriend smokes, drinks alcohol excessively, is overweight, does not exercise regularly, etc. Do you know if he is able to have an erection in the morning when he first wakes up, as many men do?
Does any of this sound like what he could be experiencing?
An erectile dysfunction is defined as, "inability to maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse at least 25 percent of the time." Again, it is common for men to lose their erection sometimes, but I wanted to provide this information to you in case there is something medically wrong: Erectile Dysfunction. It is more common in older men, and for younger men it is important to know: stress and anxiety are leading causes of temporary problems with erection.
Lastly, I'm concerned about your last statement that "how can we stay together without a sex life?". I'm assuming you are both in your 20s, and it seemed as though that was quite a leap from being a concerned girlfriend to already breaking up! I would take this time to really figure out what's going on with your relationship. Take a look at the Kinsey Institute's Q&A for a similar question (regarding a guy having an erection...does that mean he likes/doesn't like a girl...the answer is no!); you can read the answer here, along with some great information and book resources.
Bottom line: talk (and listen) to your boyfriend, to see what he is going through. Is he as concerned as you are about his inability to maintain an erection? If so, a visit with a doctor would be highly recommended. If he's not concerned, then maybe you two can figure out some other ways of being intimate without intercourse, and see if some of the pressure is alleviated. Read one of the three books together for some ideas, too!
Comment Reply
Hi,
Thanks for writing back! Let's see if this information helps you two (and, by saying you "two", is this something he is concerned about, or just you wondering if this means something bad about his feelings for you? Are you two able to talk about this, and for you to listen to his feelings and trust what he is saying?):
Try reading this: Trouble with Erections
Men of all ages have trouble sometimes getting or maintaining an erection, and it can be from psychological or physical causes, which can include:
- "Physiologically: lack of sleep, alcohol use, underlying health condition. Other physical causes include hormonal imbalance or side effects of medications.
- Psychologically: stress, anxiety, guilt, depression, low self-esteem, and pressure from a new or "demanding" partner, or any pressure a man might be placing on himself".
Inconsistent erections can be lifestyle related, too, if your boyfriend smokes, drinks alcohol excessively, is overweight, does not exercise regularly, etc. Do you know if he is able to have an erection in the morning when he first wakes up, as many men do?
Does any of this sound like what he could be experiencing?
An erectile dysfunction is defined as, "inability to maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse at least 25 percent of the time." Again, it is common for men to lose their erection sometimes, but I wanted to provide this information to you in case there is something medically wrong: Erectile Dysfunction. It is more common in older men, and for younger men it is important to know: stress and anxiety are leading causes of temporary problems with erection.
Lastly, I'm concerned about your last statement that "how can we stay together without a sex life?". I'm assuming you are both in your 20s, and it seemed as though that was quite a leap from being a concerned girlfriend to already breaking up! I would take this time to really figure out what's going on with your relationship. Take a look at the Kinsey Institute's Q&A for a similar question (regarding a guy having an erection...does that mean he likes/doesn't like a girl...the answer is no!); you can read the answer here, along with some great information and book resources.
Bottom line: talk (and listen) to your boyfriend, to see what he is going through. Is he as concerned as you are about his inability to maintain an erection? If so, a visit with a doctor would be highly recommended. If he's not concerned, then maybe you two can figure out some other ways of being intimate without intercourse, and see if some of the pressure is alleviated. Read one of the three books together for some ideas, too!
March 19, 2009 - 2:16pmThis Comment
Reply