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Hello Anonymous,

Speaking as a young man approaching his mid twenties, I can tell you that I have encountered similar situations. I know from experience how distressing it is for a man of any age to experience problems with their sex lives, especially when it comes to their performance in bed. I have a few suggestions and insights that worked for me, much to the satisfaction of my lover and her sexual needs.

The first piece of advice I can offer is that you take the point of view that this is probably a temporary situation, and realize that as his lover, your response to his performance issues can either help remedy the situation or complicate matters. Allow me to illustrate with some brief anecdotes.

One evening, my lover and I were enjoying some intimate time together in her bedroom. Everything was just right with the exception of one minor detail - I could not achieve an erection! I felt nervous and humiliated. The tone of my lover, though not in the least bit scolding, definitely expressed her natural and warranted frustration. It was shortly after this incident that I took time to examine my everyday life. I was working a stressful job in the restaurant business. I was eating a lot of fatty foods. I wasn't getting enough exercise or the proper nourishment from my diet. All of these factors contributed to my performance issues. I made drastic changes to my life style and I was able to enjoy my virility without any repeat incidents for quite some time.

That is, until it happened again almost a year later. I was baffled. I was eating healthy. I had my stress under control. (I use lots of different things to help me relieve stress - everything from writing to playing video games.) I was happy all around. So what was the issue?

Quite simply, my sexual attraction was starting to wane. At first this caused me distress. After careful meditation, I realized the nature of the union with my lover. Our drastic differences in personality greatly contributed to our explosive chemistry. Now, it seemed, that chemistry (to continue the metaphor) had fulfilled the possibilities of its nature. Our union, at that time, had been completely satisfied. There was no bio-magnetic attraction between us, no sexual tension.

I was faced with a hard decision, a difficult choice. What was I to do? Was I to end a meaningful and satisfying relationship simply because at this time there was no sexual attraction between us? Or, was there a different solution that could fulfill both of us naturally and in harmony with our individual wills?

Yes. The solution was immediately divined. Both her and I required new experiences according to our individual idiosyncrasies. Although we didn't break up or separate, we both decided that we needed more personal space and time to ourselves to pursue our personal ambitions. We observed, much to our delight, that this personal time away from each other was starting to bring back the sexual tension. Both of us had new experiences to share. It was like rediscovering each other all over again.

As conscientious lovers, we have learned to recognize these times of complete satisfaction. We now know when to take a little extra time for ourselves. We are certain that our time apart is just as important as our time together. Success is our proof.

So remove the familiarity of your situation. Remove the predictable patterns that you have become habituated to like a mechanical current lulling you to sleep. There are infinite possibilities in the universe. You simply have to discover which of those experiences you will have for yourself to enrich your own life.

-Ramon

March 28, 2009 - 2:01am

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