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I'm having similar situation with my husband ... we do communicate about the issue. He just isn't turned on by me. It's almost as if I'm his best friend/sister/mother, not sure which... I try to get him aroused and only get left feeling pretty shitty. Recently we had an episode that kinda devastated me emotionally and so I won't try ever again. He is aware and I think relieved. This mornin' he tried to kiss me bye and it upset me. He went in for tongue action and I pulled back and said "don't." I'm not settin' myself up for rejection anymore. It's had an impact on me - I've kinda lost interest in make-up, dressing up and so on. Why bother? He is in his head fantasizing about women that wouldn't let him sniff it down wind. I love him dearly- he is my best friend. We have built a lot together, grown a lot together... we have children. So far neither of us are willing to break that part up. I've suggested having an open marriage and being discreet. That's the strange thing about us - we can lay in bed and talk about how to manage sex lives with others. I can even tell him how to approach a woman for sex as friends... I believe he married me because of our kids and his views on traditional marriages, same for me... He hasn't thus far took me up on offer. Why? Because he is ok with the ideal of him having a happy sex life, he doesn't want me to. He doesn't like the ideal of me having sex with other men. I'm tired. This is my second marriage - and my first marriage was the same. I was his best friend/sister ... whatever too. It's always that way for me ... They like me for sex in the beginning, then they really get to know and love me, then I become enshrined in some strange psychological gridlock that they can't cum in... I'm far from a saint- but sometimes I feel like never being nice, understanding, compassionate or even remotely humanistic ever again. It only gets me a sexless marriage and held up as shrine where no sex shall be permitted. I've made a promise to never be intimate with a man I'm intimate with again. AS far as he will he concerned ... I'm bad. I think that's what they really want... He likes skanky girls... Always has. I'm not skankified. Anyway I hope he rethinks the open marriage thing, because this not feeling beautiful thing is crippling my ego. We are both very sexual people. Very. So I know that there is nothing to fix whatever is wrong between us, but I will never leave my husband. We are absolutely happy in everything else, but I worry it will bleed over ...

May 30, 2013 - 5:21am


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