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I posted on here months ago about how my husband has been disinterested in sex or any type of intimacy since the day we got married 3 years ago. He isolated himself from myself and my 3 girls. I spent almost every day asking what I did wrong and if he was upset with me and what can I do to make him love me, love us....All he would ever say is I do love you guys, I'm just tired and have a lot on my mind. I almost left and moved out of state to be near family in July, but my health and finances prevented me from doing so. When we had what seemed like no choice but to stay, he said he wanted to work things out and for 6 whole weeks (a record breaking time in our marriage) he was wonderful, we were wonderful. I started feeling comfortable. He left little love notes in the morning before he went to work, sent sweet emails from work during the day, played with the kids, wanted to make love, he even took the trash out for me....and then it stopped...everything was wonderful, even right up to when he left for work in the morning...and then he came home and wouldn't have anything to do with us....that went on for the next 6 weeks or so....My children were sad and hurt and I was sad and hurt....I asked him why so many times and I let him see my tears. I tried to hug him, kiss him, talk to him and got rejected no matter what. I was confused. My heart ached for not only myself, but for my children as well. He wouldn't talk to us when at home. Whenever I tried to cuddle with him at night he would push me away and roll his eyes. When the girls would ask for a hug and a kiss he would walk away.....SO..here is my update....He was seeing another woman. He lied about being in corporate meetings at work (which I knew was untrue to begin with because he is not even in management). He was lying about where he was. He couldn't even respond to a text message because he was so busy at work. I found that he was talking to her daily and from 6:30 am to 9pm every day, they were texting back and forth, a minimum of 35 times in a day. I called her...no response, but she did text back....I called him.....they forgot to get their stories straight in the event that this would happen. He came home from work and we argued and things got physical, he chest bumped me, I pushed him. He slapped me open handed, I punched him. He called me names, I told him I hope she gives him herpes. Somebody called the cops and he was taken to jail. Now there is a no contact order. He drained the bank account and left me and the girls with no finances...I'm not sure how long I will have internet access. He blocked me out of most of my own accounts...the rest is history....My gut was right...for the entire marriage I have thought that there had to be someone else because what person (male or female) is one person one day and then makes a complete 180 and is somebody else. How can u appear to love sex and then say stop and no and leave me alone? How can you tell me u love me every other day, but keep your distance from me? How can you sneak off in the middle of the night to wank off to porn, but not want to touch and be touched by the woman laying next to you? I knew this wasn't normal. I don't know how I feel right now. Sometimes I wonder what I did wrong, or what is wrong with me? or maybe if I would have never let him see me cry, or never shared my feelings, or never tried to fix anything...maybe if I could just be blind...I don't know...but I have to remind myself that I am better than all of that...that I am somebody and I am worth a whole heck of a lot. All I ever wanted from him was for him to love me the way he did when we were dating. I wanted an equal partnership with love and understanding, compassion and respect, communication and happiness....I will never understand how another person can do this to anybody...I am so lost right now.

September 25, 2010 - 11:42am


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