I wonder if you and your husband would benefit from a trip to see your MIL's counselor? Of course he/she would not be able to talk about your MIL specifically, due to confidentiality. The point of your visit would be simply to understand schizophrenia and to get some insight on how to work with someone who has it. This might help your husband deal with his denial, as well.
Here are a few books you might be interested in checking into. They all have reviews on Amazon.com from people who have read them. I tried to pick ones that have a family or loved-one emphasis. Your local library may have them as well.
Surviving Schizophrenia: A Manual for Families, Patients, and Providers
By E. Fuller Torrey
What Amazon says about it: "Since its first publication in 1983, Surviving Schizophrenia has become the standard reference book on the disease and has helped thousands of patients, their families and mental health professionals. In clear language, this much–praised and important book describes the nature, causes, symptoms, treatment and course of schizophrenia and also explores living with it from both the patient and the family's point of view. This new, completely updated fifth edition includes the latest research findings on what causes the disease as well as information about the newest drugs for treatment and answers to the questions most often asked by families, consumers and providers."
Be sure to scroll down the page and read the consumer reviews, which are written by real people, most of whom have dealt with mental illness in the family.
Here's another book to consider:
I Am Not Sick I Don't Need Help
By Xavier Amador
Apparently, about 50% of people with schizophrenia don't understand that they are ill and need treatment. Here's an excerpt of what one reader said about this book:
"Xavier Amador has performed a tremendous service for families and therapists by translating the research on insight into mental illness into a highly readable and very practical book. Family members and therapists who read this will find their frustration with a "non-compliant" consumer melting away to be replaced with empathy and compassion, qualities that will enable them to begin laying the groundwork for a cooperative relationship with their loved one/client. Step-by-step methods for developing that relationship are clearly laid out, making this one of the most helpful, hopeful books to come along in a long time for those who treat or live with a mentally ill person. I Am Not Sick ... adds to the number of excellent books written for families of the mentally ill, and, in my opinion, tops the list. I just wish it had been available 20 years ago when my sister became ill. I am convinced that she would be much better off today if we had had access to this information."
And one more:
When Someone You Love Has A Mental Illness: A Handbook For Family, Friends and Caregivers
By Rebecca Woolis
"This is not one of the many books on "understanding" [a] serious mental illness. This book is a step-by-step guide to more successful interpersonal relationships between family and patients. No doctor or therapist will ever give you these essential tools, because therapists needn't live a life with your loved one - and may not even know what that life entails in a real and daily way. My daughter is a bipolar patient, diagnosed in 1981. Using this book, I have for the first time negotiated a crisis while knowing what to do and maintaining communication with her throughout the crisis. It is the book I always knew I needed. There is much more to serious mental illness than symptoms and medicine. This is the only book I found that addresses the "more." "
Hang in there. We are here and will help with anything we can.
Comment Reply
Amberlee,
I wonder if you and your husband would benefit from a trip to see your MIL's counselor? Of course he/she would not be able to talk about your MIL specifically, due to confidentiality. The point of your visit would be simply to understand schizophrenia and to get some insight on how to work with someone who has it. This might help your husband deal with his denial, as well.
Here are a few books you might be interested in checking into. They all have reviews on Amazon.com from people who have read them. I tried to pick ones that have a family or loved-one emphasis. Your local library may have them as well.
Surviving Schizophrenia: A Manual for Families, Patients, and Providers
By E. Fuller Torrey
http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Schizophrenia-Families-Patients-Providers/dp/0060842598/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1238599552&sr=8-2
What Amazon says about it: "Since its first publication in 1983, Surviving Schizophrenia has become the standard reference book on the disease and has helped thousands of patients, their families and mental health professionals. In clear language, this much–praised and important book describes the nature, causes, symptoms, treatment and course of schizophrenia and also explores living with it from both the patient and the family's point of view. This new, completely updated fifth edition includes the latest research findings on what causes the disease as well as information about the newest drugs for treatment and answers to the questions most often asked by families, consumers and providers."
Be sure to scroll down the page and read the consumer reviews, which are written by real people, most of whom have dealt with mental illness in the family.
Here's another book to consider:
I Am Not Sick I Don't Need Help
By Xavier Amador
http://www.amazon.com/not-sick-dont-need-help/dp/0967718929/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b
Apparently, about 50% of people with schizophrenia don't understand that they are ill and need treatment. Here's an excerpt of what one reader said about this book:
"Xavier Amador has performed a tremendous service for families and therapists by translating the research on insight into mental illness into a highly readable and very practical book. Family members and therapists who read this will find their frustration with a "non-compliant" consumer melting away to be replaced with empathy and compassion, qualities that will enable them to begin laying the groundwork for a cooperative relationship with their loved one/client. Step-by-step methods for developing that relationship are clearly laid out, making this one of the most helpful, hopeful books to come along in a long time for those who treat or live with a mentally ill person. I Am Not Sick ... adds to the number of excellent books written for families of the mentally ill, and, in my opinion, tops the list. I just wish it had been available 20 years ago when my sister became ill. I am convinced that she would be much better off today if we had had access to this information."
And one more:
When Someone You Love Has A Mental Illness: A Handbook For Family, Friends and Caregivers
By Rebecca Woolis
http://www.amazon.com/When-Someone-Love-Mental-Illness/dp/B001JJBO7O/ref=pd_sim_b_2
"This is not one of the many books on "understanding" [a] serious mental illness. This book is a step-by-step guide to more successful interpersonal relationships between family and patients. No doctor or therapist will ever give you these essential tools, because therapists needn't live a life with your loved one - and may not even know what that life entails in a real and daily way. My daughter is a bipolar patient, diagnosed in 1981. Using this book, I have for the first time negotiated a crisis while knowing what to do and maintaining communication with her throughout the crisis. It is the book I always knew I needed. There is much more to serious mental illness than symptoms and medicine. This is the only book I found that addresses the "more." "
Hang in there. We are here and will help with anything we can.
April 1, 2009 - 8:43amThis Comment
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