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Thank you for writing, I know it's been awhile since your post but I appreciated reading it. I haven't ever written or barely spoken with anyone about my experience and mainly for the reason of the fear that once I do, it won't get any better. tonight I tried to have a real conversation with my boyfriend (who has known of the incident for some time but we both avoid the issue) and the conversation was wrought with the fact that I just have to 'choose' to get over it and have to have the strength. He is kind, don't get me wrong, he knows if I could choose to, I would have this behind me but the pressure that it is all up to me feels unbearable...what if I try and still feel upset sometimes down the road. and I said that to him and then he thinks I am just using that as a cop-out that it's not possible to get over it so why try. That's not what I mean, I am just scared. I don't want this to hurt him, or me, or us, anymore. I don't know what to do. Any advice? I tried to go to a counselor, it took a lot out of me. and honestly, her advice was elementary. It upset me more than anything, it was such a waste. I felt angry I even put forth the effort to tell her. anyway, I am sure some counselors can help but I was frustrated with my attempt. And then felt like a failure again for not being able to 'fix it'. I will try to go to someone again, but I refuse to go to someone who's advice is inferior to what I could give myself. just hoping you'd have something better, pretty much anything will be....