I had a surprise pregnancy at 44. It was agonising deciding what to do. We have two children 10 and 13. One has a learning disability and needs lots of extra help. I have a career and am the primary income earner. I was very sick straight away (as with my other pregnancies) and had post-natal depression with both pregnancies. At the end of the day I realised the main reason I would even consider going ahead with the pregnancy was guilt. I don't think good decisions are motivated by guilt. I really didn't relish the prospect of being 60 with a 15 year old. As my Dr said, at my age the risks were high and there is a much higher chance of having a baby with a disability. Children are a big commitment and I think you need to be 100% sure that you are prepared to do all that is needed. I have friends in their 50's with 10 year olds and they feel restricted, and after 25 years of parenting want some freedom. After taking all these factors into account we decided to end the pregnancy and enjoy the children we have. It was sad but also a relief. Maybe not the sentimental, romantic or christian decision but it is the best decision for us as middle aged parents who want to enjoy the kids we have, and be delighted when grandchildren come along, rather than feeling like "were so over this child rearing thing".
Comment Reply
I had a surprise pregnancy at 44. It was agonising deciding what to do. We have two children 10 and 13. One has a learning disability and needs lots of extra help. I have a career and am the primary income earner. I was very sick straight away (as with my other pregnancies) and had post-natal depression with both pregnancies. At the end of the day I realised the main reason I would even consider going ahead with the pregnancy was guilt. I don't think good decisions are motivated by guilt. I really didn't relish the prospect of being 60 with a 15 year old. As my Dr said, at my age the risks were high and there is a much higher chance of having a baby with a disability. Children are a big commitment and I think you need to be 100% sure that you are prepared to do all that is needed. I have friends in their 50's with 10 year olds and they feel restricted, and after 25 years of parenting want some freedom. After taking all these factors into account we decided to end the pregnancy and enjoy the children we have. It was sad but also a relief. Maybe not the sentimental, romantic or christian decision but it is the best decision for us as middle aged parents who want to enjoy the kids we have, and be delighted when grandchildren come along, rather than feeling like "were so over this child rearing thing".
September 8, 2011 - 9:52pmThis Comment
Reply