I am fortunate to be the (single parent) mom of a remarkable 27 year old police officer/daughter. We are enough alike that this topic raised all sorts of challenges.
With 60/70's sensibilities my approach was "tell it like it is". Interestingly the topic came up when she was very young - 3 years old. She was an "old soul" to begin with - but the questions were pointed and really earned honest answers, matter of fact use of actual names of parts and functions, and more than that - a comfortable trust-building vibe.
Not putting anything in her face, but keeping an eye out for things, we went through a predictable teen age (high school) rebellion. Even so, she knew enough to be empowered to go to the local Planned Parenthood when she didn't want to talk to me - and protect herself, and advise her friends to do the same. It matters at a time when kids are sexually active - and trying to balance that with what they each think is "supposed to be marketed".
I am proud of her - and her choices. While they are hers to own, I do believe with all my heart and soul that being able to start much earlier - or whenever you realize you will need to (that means something in your head has already intuitively picked up the sense it is time to start being open) start addressing the human topic of sexuality, birth control, making smart choices with an eye towards your possible future paths, etc.
Best of luck - and trust your kid and you to make the right choices if you get comfortable with your own sense of things - and trust theirs even during odd teen years.
PS As a daughter in a very traditional Catholic Italian family - this was not intuitive - but you can do it, if I did it! Peace!
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I am fortunate to be the (single parent) mom of a remarkable 27 year old police officer/daughter. We are enough alike that this topic raised all sorts of challenges.
With 60/70's sensibilities my approach was "tell it like it is". Interestingly the topic came up when she was very young - 3 years old. She was an "old soul" to begin with - but the questions were pointed and really earned honest answers, matter of fact use of actual names of parts and functions, and more than that - a comfortable trust-building vibe.
Not putting anything in her face, but keeping an eye out for things, we went through a predictable teen age (high school) rebellion. Even so, she knew enough to be empowered to go to the local Planned Parenthood when she didn't want to talk to me - and protect herself, and advise her friends to do the same. It matters at a time when kids are sexually active - and trying to balance that with what they each think is "supposed to be marketed".
I am proud of her - and her choices. While they are hers to own, I do believe with all my heart and soul that being able to start much earlier - or whenever you realize you will need to (that means something in your head has already intuitively picked up the sense it is time to start being open) start addressing the human topic of sexuality, birth control, making smart choices with an eye towards your possible future paths, etc.
Best of luck - and trust your kid and you to make the right choices if you get comfortable with your own sense of things - and trust theirs even during odd teen years.
PS As a daughter in a very traditional Catholic Italian family - this was not intuitive - but you can do it, if I did it! Peace!
April 17, 2009 - 1:12pmThis Comment
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