I thank you for sharing your experience. It was very similar to my wife. She did have it removed last February after I had a vasectomy. Unfortunately it has not panned out like I hoped it would. I think in her lack of desire, but accommodating me while having the IUD in lead to a lot of resentment (plus other things in our history). Here we are 8 months later and we are at a standstill (it's been almost 4 months since anything).
I agree she needs to have it taken out as that might help you out. I have read on this post that for some women it may take up to a year to get the groove back. We are working our way through anxieties- going to marital counseling (for 6 months now).
I am sorry that you are going through this. It is just a hard thing for everyone involved. If nothing else, it has caused me to increase my faith. Please pray for marriages affected by this.
Thanks for sharing!