Brother the similarities are scary. I have an 8 year old and another son. We have the exact same issues. My wife actually had it removed 8 months ago and the problem still persists. We are in counseling. She had been avoiding it all together, but lately has been trying to make herself be with me. She has terrible anxiety about sex and we can't even kiss.
I think Mirena has some to do with this as it zapped her drive, but she continued to be with me.... thus developing the aversion to sex. I am sure kids contributed to lack of emotional connection.
She also has had a rocky relationship with her mother that has brought things to light within the last year.
I am sorry that you are going through the same thing. I have heard that it might could take up to a year for getting the drive back after removing this thing. Still holding out hope that it has something to do with it and magically her drive will return. I have anxiety about her anxiety. It's a damned spiral.
I just keep praying and striving to change myself to be a better man, husband and love like Jesus... when she cannot love me back in the way that I feel like I need.
This article on sexual aversion kind of helped me to understand how we got at this place and to understand that it is not our whole marriage, just this one part is lacking (not that it makes it any easier):
I am sorry you are going through this. It is the toughest thing I've ever gone through.