I have been with my guy for 12 years now.. I moved in 4 years ago. But before I moved in we found out that I have herpies.. (Which is something I had told him years before I thought I had) He told me, we will only cuddle no more funny stuff!! I was HURT!! But with time we sorta talked things out and we were kinda back to normal. I moved in. But as time went on, I started to see the change... we cuddle but nothing else. For the past 3year or so i'm lucky if I get sex 4times a year.. We have great talks great cuddles! Together time awesome!!! NO ROMANCE!!! we have talked of getting married:)) I was almost 200lbs but for my build it looked like I was 165.. Im now 140! He told me if I became healthy (doctor said I was unhealthy and heart problems runs in my fathers side.) So I did it!! when I asked him, when will we he, said. I will if you want me too.. I, said. Thats not a good reason! He then remined me of how he felt of marrage. But that he would marry because he dident want to loose me. Again, I'm thinking not good. No sex.. Not married! I have loved him all my life!!!! Waited for him to come on this same path with me! But I can feel myself being pulled in another diraction. I need that love to make me feel!!! I think I would rather be alone then to be in a house that I have made a home... Home is supposed to be where your heart is... My heart was once in this home. I am looseing all feeling.. Sex is not soo important! but once in a great while has made me depressed! Fat!! I have done the whole retail therepy to help with this pain! I would come home from work and just sleep:(( My body was sooo willing and wanting of him!! He would tell me I was too easy for him!?? Agh yea!! I love you!! But we never say that either.. I am going for therepy to help with the pain of not feeling, being wanted.. I love my honey bear! but I feel like best friends who just sleep together:(((
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I have been with my guy for 12 years now.. I moved in 4 years ago. But before I moved in we found out that I have herpies.. (Which is something I had told him years before I thought I had) He told me, we will only cuddle no more funny stuff!! I was HURT!! But with time we sorta talked things out and we were kinda back to normal. I moved in. But as time went on, I started to see the change... we cuddle but nothing else. For the past 3year or so i'm lucky if I get sex 4times a year.. We have great talks great cuddles! Together time awesome!!! NO ROMANCE!!! we have talked of getting married:)) I was almost 200lbs but for my build it looked like I was 165.. Im now 140! He told me if I became healthy (doctor said I was unhealthy and heart problems runs in my fathers side.) So I did it!! when I asked him, when will we he, said. I will if you want me too.. I, said. Thats not a good reason! He then remined me of how he felt of marrage. But that he would marry because he dident want to loose me. Again, I'm thinking not good. No sex.. Not married! I have loved him all my life!!!! Waited for him to come on this same path with me! But I can feel myself being pulled in another diraction. I need that love to make me feel!!! I think I would rather be alone then to be in a house that I have made a home... Home is supposed to be where your heart is... My heart was once in this home. I am looseing all feeling.. Sex is not soo important! but once in a great while has made me depressed! Fat!! I have done the whole retail therepy to help with this pain! I would come home from work and just sleep:(( My body was sooo willing and wanting of him!! He would tell me I was too easy for him!?? Agh yea!! I love you!! But we never say that either.. I am going for therepy to help with the pain of not feeling, being wanted.. I love my honey bear! but I feel like best friends who just sleep together:(((
January 7, 2013 - 10:33pmThis Comment
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