i am after reading every single post on this topic.
im 20 years and my boyfriend 10 years older.we have been seeing eachother for 2years and living together.
Other than the lack of sex issue we connect on a multitude of so many levels.
For the fist 6months of the relationship my man couldn't get enough of me. I felt sexually desireable and beautiful. For the first time in my life i realised my self worth. My confidence soared and i indulged in exploring my sexual-side (something i never previously did) and loved this new adventure.
You see, before i met my boyfriend i had been sexually abused as a child. Sex was a difficult thing for me. I could not have intimacy with boyfriends and on the rare occassions that i did agree to sex, i wasnt emotionally engaged in it and was only waiting for it to end.
My boyfriend knows all this from basically the start. It never effected our sex life. He taught me that sex was about love and being comfortable with myself. i changed my attitude completely and revelled in our sex life.
Boy did things change.
For the past year he never initiates sex. ever.
I ask myself all the ime whats wrong with me, why he is hurting me like this. I am the one who always initiates sex,approx twice a week, im not sex crazed, i would think this is a normal amount per week to expect. He often turns me down, finds some excuse or pushes me away. I have tried to talk about this to him on different occassions. i asked him did my past bother him, he says not one bit.
I have tried everything. Dressing up in sexy underwear, trying to be seductive, not having sex for a while to see does he come running.... I always make sure i am clean and my hair is well managed. i manicure my nails and get a spray tan every week so he doesnt think i've let myself go.
I know i am not an ugly girl. i have a good body and im told im pretty. I get hit on every night when i go out with the girls so i know im not repulsive. You might say well if i have guys hitting on me when i go out clubbing why dont i just get with a guy and move on, but the only man i want is my boyfriend. i love him deeply, i would never be unfaithful.
Im sick of going to such shallow lenghts like watching my figure,tanning etc to get one bit of notice and i never do. im sick at myself for allowing him to hold my happiness in his hands by deciding when we're allowed to have sex. i feel rejected, hurt and ever plummeting confidence.
And also i know he still has a drive because he looks and porn to pleasure himself whenever he has a chance. he doesnt realise i know this.i got mad at him once ages ago for watching porn on my computer and got accused of being a snoop and a freak for beingupset because ''all men do it''.
Please please somebody give me a little advice becuase i feel like my spirit is breaking.
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i am after reading every single post on this topic.
September 1, 2009 - 7:16pmim 20 years and my boyfriend 10 years older.we have been seeing eachother for 2years and living together.
Other than the lack of sex issue we connect on a multitude of so many levels.
For the fist 6months of the relationship my man couldn't get enough of me. I felt sexually desireable and beautiful. For the first time in my life i realised my self worth. My confidence soared and i indulged in exploring my sexual-side (something i never previously did) and loved this new adventure.
You see, before i met my boyfriend i had been sexually abused as a child. Sex was a difficult thing for me. I could not have intimacy with boyfriends and on the rare occassions that i did agree to sex, i wasnt emotionally engaged in it and was only waiting for it to end.
My boyfriend knows all this from basically the start. It never effected our sex life. He taught me that sex was about love and being comfortable with myself. i changed my attitude completely and revelled in our sex life.
Boy did things change.
For the past year he never initiates sex. ever.
I ask myself all the ime whats wrong with me, why he is hurting me like this. I am the one who always initiates sex,approx twice a week, im not sex crazed, i would think this is a normal amount per week to expect. He often turns me down, finds some excuse or pushes me away. I have tried to talk about this to him on different occassions. i asked him did my past bother him, he says not one bit.
I have tried everything. Dressing up in sexy underwear, trying to be seductive, not having sex for a while to see does he come running.... I always make sure i am clean and my hair is well managed. i manicure my nails and get a spray tan every week so he doesnt think i've let myself go.
I know i am not an ugly girl. i have a good body and im told im pretty. I get hit on every night when i go out with the girls so i know im not repulsive. You might say well if i have guys hitting on me when i go out clubbing why dont i just get with a guy and move on, but the only man i want is my boyfriend. i love him deeply, i would never be unfaithful.
Im sick of going to such shallow lenghts like watching my figure,tanning etc to get one bit of notice and i never do. im sick at myself for allowing him to hold my happiness in his hands by deciding when we're allowed to have sex. i feel rejected, hurt and ever plummeting confidence.
And also i know he still has a drive because he looks and porn to pleasure himself whenever he has a chance. he doesnt realise i know this.i got mad at him once ages ago for watching porn on my computer and got accused of being a snoop and a freak for beingupset because ''all men do it''.
Please please somebody give me a little advice becuase i feel like my spirit is breaking.
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