After reading your question, I have to say that I'm surprised you're having sex at all with the very recent stresses that you have in your household. Starting college, trying to find a job, and having a new roommate in the house -- any one of them can affect a couple's relationship, and you are dealing with all three at once!
If this has just happened during the last two weeks, if I were you I would not worry so much. Give it a little time. Focus on school and your job searches and let the new roommate become not so new. Realize that with these things going on, things just aren't the same as they used to be, and it's not either of your fault. Part of being in a relationship is understanding, during times like this, that outside pressures will sometimes affect you.
If it goes a couple more weeks, bring it up during a private moment -- but not in bed, and not when you're both tired. Maybe during a Saturday lunch, for instance. Just tell him that you miss the closeness you two had before all this, and ask him if he does too. See what his response is. Ask him what he thinks has changed most, and listen. For instance, it may be that the presence of someone else in the house -- especially a best friend -- has made him a little less comfortable with sex? Or the pressures of the job search and finances have him stressed out?
Don't be too anxious -- again, two weeks is not very long. Just be yourself, and talk about it in a caring, open way.
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Anon,
After reading your question, I have to say that I'm surprised you're having sex at all with the very recent stresses that you have in your household. Starting college, trying to find a job, and having a new roommate in the house -- any one of them can affect a couple's relationship, and you are dealing with all three at once!
If this has just happened during the last two weeks, if I were you I would not worry so much. Give it a little time. Focus on school and your job searches and let the new roommate become not so new. Realize that with these things going on, things just aren't the same as they used to be, and it's not either of your fault. Part of being in a relationship is understanding, during times like this, that outside pressures will sometimes affect you.
If it goes a couple more weeks, bring it up during a private moment -- but not in bed, and not when you're both tired. Maybe during a Saturday lunch, for instance. Just tell him that you miss the closeness you two had before all this, and ask him if he does too. See what his response is. Ask him what he thinks has changed most, and listen. For instance, it may be that the presence of someone else in the house -- especially a best friend -- has made him a little less comfortable with sex? Or the pressures of the job search and finances have him stressed out?
Don't be too anxious -- again, two weeks is not very long. Just be yourself, and talk about it in a caring, open way.
October 1, 2009 - 8:48amThis Comment
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