Hi,
Everyone writing on here...there is nothing wrong with the guy or with you!
What is wrong is the lack of education about how to enjoy sex, or how to make it enjoyable, how to make time for it. How to train your brain to make it a routine of life. Yes routine here is used in a good way. Not to mean monotonous, but as regular as brushing your hair or your teeth.
Yes, lust is there in the beginning so it is "effortless" with anybody and everybody. Right? Right?
Isn't that the recurrent theme on this posts? Yes. So, after the honeymoon phase is over, which will eventually come sooner than later for others...the question is, how to sustain it. Here is where education takes a role. And it needs the effort of both parties. One cannot do it alone. It will be like climbing Mount Everest if one tries to do so. It will be futile. But then again, it only takes one person to start and encourage the other party to follow suit. It also takes a lot of communication and honesty. I know a lot of women here feel they are hitting a brick wall, and coming up against a dead end situation. I know. I'm one of those women. But I don't give up. For as long as I want to stay with my guy, I am not going to sit back and be complacent and get bitter. I'm going to the bottom and root of why my guy do not have the desire to have sex anymore. Personally for me, I've had a few conversations with him and each time we are delving deeper. I find if I am not defensive, and really hear what he is saying to me, and I'm not thinking about my agenda is when he opens up and in the end, I get my answers. Isn't that what we want? To understand so we can do something about it? The reasons are numerous and can be different and unique with each relationship, or they can be similar. Compatibility, sexual preference, different point of views, your "sexiness" factor (which he will not tell you outright because he doesn't want to hurt you), a lot plays a factor. The talk is not easy and it will not fix everything overnight, and you may not get what you want...there is no guarantee. There are no guarantees in life. But it gives you a peace of mind, and the feeling that all is well again, if you don't just sit there and do nothing and feel miserable. Please. Do something good for yourself, something courageous and face that fear. Talk to your guy and really. I mean, really listen and be open.
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Hi,
October 10, 2009 - 12:20amEveryone writing on here...there is nothing wrong with the guy or with you!
What is wrong is the lack of education about how to enjoy sex, or how to make it enjoyable, how to make time for it. How to train your brain to make it a routine of life. Yes routine here is used in a good way. Not to mean monotonous, but as regular as brushing your hair or your teeth.
Yes, lust is there in the beginning so it is "effortless" with anybody and everybody. Right? Right?
Isn't that the recurrent theme on this posts? Yes. So, after the honeymoon phase is over, which will eventually come sooner than later for others...the question is, how to sustain it. Here is where education takes a role. And it needs the effort of both parties. One cannot do it alone. It will be like climbing Mount Everest if one tries to do so. It will be futile. But then again, it only takes one person to start and encourage the other party to follow suit. It also takes a lot of communication and honesty. I know a lot of women here feel they are hitting a brick wall, and coming up against a dead end situation. I know. I'm one of those women. But I don't give up. For as long as I want to stay with my guy, I am not going to sit back and be complacent and get bitter. I'm going to the bottom and root of why my guy do not have the desire to have sex anymore. Personally for me, I've had a few conversations with him and each time we are delving deeper. I find if I am not defensive, and really hear what he is saying to me, and I'm not thinking about my agenda is when he opens up and in the end, I get my answers. Isn't that what we want? To understand so we can do something about it? The reasons are numerous and can be different and unique with each relationship, or they can be similar. Compatibility, sexual preference, different point of views, your "sexiness" factor (which he will not tell you outright because he doesn't want to hurt you), a lot plays a factor. The talk is not easy and it will not fix everything overnight, and you may not get what you want...there is no guarantee. There are no guarantees in life. But it gives you a peace of mind, and the feeling that all is well again, if you don't just sit there and do nothing and feel miserable. Please. Do something good for yourself, something courageous and face that fear. Talk to your guy and really. I mean, really listen and be open.
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