Nicki, I think it really must be nerves on his part. When my boyfriend (who is also in his late 20s) and I first began to date, we had a similar problem--he finished fast or lost his erection. He was also rather eager to sleep together (though also a little hesitant at the same time, which was strange, but we had not been seeing each other very long) but admitted to being nervous. Maybe this sounds bad of me, but I was actually rather worried that this was just how it would always go, and wasn't sure what I'd end up doing about it; things hadn't gotten extremely serious yet. But it just took some time together, to get used to it all; within time I was in a comfortable and meaningful relationship and also having some of the best sex of my life. But at the beginning I had to think of it as just a way of being together, and try not to put any pressure on him (be careful though, this could backfire because then he could always think you don't care how enjoyable it is for you!). Assuming that it is just nerves, and not some more deeply rooted issue within him, I think you just need to push through this part. This probably means you'll have to talk about it, unless you can just seduce him and let him know that way. But if he is important to you, let him know that, and that there is no pressure; you just want to be with him (that actually worked wonders with me; just saying that woke everything up). I hope this helps!
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Nicki, I think it really must be nerves on his part. When my boyfriend (who is also in his late 20s) and I first began to date, we had a similar problem--he finished fast or lost his erection. He was also rather eager to sleep together (though also a little hesitant at the same time, which was strange, but we had not been seeing each other very long) but admitted to being nervous. Maybe this sounds bad of me, but I was actually rather worried that this was just how it would always go, and wasn't sure what I'd end up doing about it; things hadn't gotten extremely serious yet. But it just took some time together, to get used to it all; within time I was in a comfortable and meaningful relationship and also having some of the best sex of my life. But at the beginning I had to think of it as just a way of being together, and try not to put any pressure on him (be careful though, this could backfire because then he could always think you don't care how enjoyable it is for you!). Assuming that it is just nerves, and not some more deeply rooted issue within him, I think you just need to push through this part. This probably means you'll have to talk about it, unless you can just seduce him and let him know that way. But if he is important to you, let him know that, and that there is no pressure; you just want to be with him (that actually worked wonders with me; just saying that woke everything up). I hope this helps!
November 25, 2009 - 8:49amThis Comment
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