It's been awhile since I've been in a committed relationship, so this is just the opinion of someone not dealing with what you're going through. Most of the posts I've read have talked about how you don't understand why he doesn't want to sleep with you and why doesn't he seem interested anymore. I've read about low self esteem because of it, and one of the posts talks about how he holds out on sex if she does or says or behaves in a way he doesn't like. That last one is a control thing out and out. Sex is an important part of every relationship, it's not everything, but it's just like when emotion is missing. You can tell. You feel the loss. If it's that he isn't attracted to you anymore, that's not YOUR fault. That's his. If it's that he's cheating on you, again, not YOUR fault HIS. It's my opinion that you should all sit down and discuss the situation with your partner and see what's going on with them. Let them know that if they can't or won't give you an answer maybe it's time to take a break and see other people. Everyone has a right to feel safe, secure, loved, and wanted in their relationships. It's how it's suppose to be. If they are with holding those feelings from you for any reason, with no explanation, then you have a right to go out and find those things for yourself. DON'T CHEAT though. That won't help. Give him the chance to explain himself. Let him know in no uncertain terms how he, or she for that matter, is making you feel. Let him know that if he isn't happy in the realtionship either, then maybe it's time you move on. I think that too often, we get comfortable. Even in a relationship that isn't good for us, it's too easy to fall into believing that staying is the only way or the best way. But it's not. If you aren't getting what you need, and not just sexually but emotionally, spiritually whatever and they aren't willing to help you figure out the problem, then maybe it's time to move on. It won't be an easy decision to make especially if you love them. But if you want a life where you don't have to question every day whether they love you or want you, then maybe it's time to find someone who will tell you every day how much you mean to them, will show you every day how much they want you. Seems like a fairy tale, but it does happen and can be how it goes, you just have to find the right one for you. Just an opinion, but I hope it helps. :)
Comment Reply
It's been awhile since I've been in a committed relationship, so this is just the opinion of someone not dealing with what you're going through. Most of the posts I've read have talked about how you don't understand why he doesn't want to sleep with you and why doesn't he seem interested anymore. I've read about low self esteem because of it, and one of the posts talks about how he holds out on sex if she does or says or behaves in a way he doesn't like. That last one is a control thing out and out. Sex is an important part of every relationship, it's not everything, but it's just like when emotion is missing. You can tell. You feel the loss. If it's that he isn't attracted to you anymore, that's not YOUR fault. That's his. If it's that he's cheating on you, again, not YOUR fault HIS. It's my opinion that you should all sit down and discuss the situation with your partner and see what's going on with them. Let them know that if they can't or won't give you an answer maybe it's time to take a break and see other people. Everyone has a right to feel safe, secure, loved, and wanted in their relationships. It's how it's suppose to be. If they are with holding those feelings from you for any reason, with no explanation, then you have a right to go out and find those things for yourself. DON'T CHEAT though. That won't help. Give him the chance to explain himself. Let him know in no uncertain terms how he, or she for that matter, is making you feel. Let him know that if he isn't happy in the realtionship either, then maybe it's time you move on. I think that too often, we get comfortable. Even in a relationship that isn't good for us, it's too easy to fall into believing that staying is the only way or the best way. But it's not. If you aren't getting what you need, and not just sexually but emotionally, spiritually whatever and they aren't willing to help you figure out the problem, then maybe it's time to move on. It won't be an easy decision to make especially if you love them. But if you want a life where you don't have to question every day whether they love you or want you, then maybe it's time to find someone who will tell you every day how much you mean to them, will show you every day how much they want you. Seems like a fairy tale, but it does happen and can be how it goes, you just have to find the right one for you. Just an opinion, but I hope it helps. :)
September 2, 2010 - 3:35pmThis Comment
Reply