Dear woman,
For some reason, my posts keep getting removed from the server, perhaps moderators don’t want people to be truly helped on this site, but I am determined to help you find a solution to your problem. First of all, I would like to congratulate you for caring enough about your boyfriend to love him and remain with him even though he is refusing to have sex with you. Not many women out there would stand by their man and admit their love for him when he has lost interest in them sexually. Perhaps there is something about him beyond the sexual satisfaction he can give you that convinces you to remain with him. Maybe you see something in his heart that makes you want to not let go of him. The question that needs to be addressed is whether or not he truly loves you for who you are, or he just regards you as a sexual plaything that he has become bored with, and now he wants another sexual plaything to fill his days with pleasure. Well, before maybe you just had guesses for what might be going on. But I’ll tell you this much, it’s not diet, exercise, other things going on in his life, or any of the typical responses you might get. There is something fundamentally changing in the nature of your relationship, and it has to do with the way he perceives you in his mind. If he truly loves you, he may just not know how to show it. So it is your job to walk him step by step, and help him understand what it feels like to be you. Tell him the thoughts of your heart. Tell him you love him even though he has stopped having sex with you, but you want to be sure that he loves you too. If you find out that he does not truly love you, you will know deep down that you are wasting your time with him. The relationship is doomed to fall apart if the love is not genuine. So how do you know if he genuinely loves you, or he is growing bored of you? Well, how would you know that his love for you is true? Suppose he walked up to you one day, looked you in the eye, and said to you, “Honey, I know I’ve been distant lately. There’s some things I’ve been struggling with inside myself. But I want you to know that I love you and I care about you so much. And then he wraps his arms arounds you and holds you for a few minutes, stroking your hair gently, all the while whispering sweet declarations of his love for you in your ear, tell you that you are the princess of his heart, or his fairy girl, or whatever sweet statement you’d love to hear. After that would you know his love for you is real? Pretty much. So you’ve gotta put him to a test. And I know this will be tough for you to do, but if you don’t do it, you’ll never discover the truth about how he really feels for you and what his devotion level to you is. Tell him your true feelings. Open up to him and be completely transparent. Something like, “Sweety, I love you so much, but you’ve really seemed distant lately. I know we haven’t had sex in a while, but I want you to know that I still love you and would stand by you even though we are not having sex. But I miss your touch and your gentle caress. I really just need to be held by you, and told by you that you really love me. Will you please just hold me for a few minutes, and stroke my hair. You know how I love it when you stroke my hair?” Continue to look him directly in the eye, and pay close attention to his next few moves. If he diverts his gaze away from you, and finds some way to break eye contact with you, and then mutters or speaks nearly inaudibly that he has got other things to do, or he can’t do it, or he won’t do it, then that is your answer. Watch his eyes very carefully, for they are the windows to his soul. If his eyes appear shifty, be very careful. If he is not willing to give you a simple hug and stroke your hair when you ask him to, then he’s only interested in you for sex. And since he’s not having sex with you now, he’s probably interested in another girl for sex.
Sex can blur our image of the other person. It can blind us to the true nature of the other person, their true personality. That’s why it is such a sacred thing, Created by God to express the fulfillment of love between a man and his wife and a wife and her husband. When we jump into the sack with people we barely know we are just asking for pain down the road. It acts like a drug, increasing dopamine in the brain and releasing chemicals into the bloodstream that make us feel “good” all over, but the goodness of that feeling, if not expressed through a true loving commitment to another person, is like eating snickers bars every morning lunch and dinner, and doing it again and again and again, with no real substance. Eventually, you’re teeth will rot out, and your body will turn to mush. Sex can be the most amazing and sacred experience on earth, as it is a glimpse into Heaven for the man and wife, who daily submit to the guidance of God through prayer with one another, with the ultimate goal of complete union of body, soul and spirit, in heaven. This experience will be unlike anything you can think of or imagine. And marriage is the preparation for this sacred experience. Not casual sex. Not recreational sex with as many people as you can, who eventually become nothing more than notches on a bedpost. People who treat sex that way will eventually become out of control animals, raving wild and uncontrollable. Those who fear God will treat sex with respect.
The man is the rock of the relationship. And that is who you need, dear woman. A man who will honor you and cherish you for your mind first and foremost, who respects your boundaries enough to not try and conquer you as though you were some prize to be won. I’m not saying this man you love isn’t that rock. Maybe he just needs some encouragement to be stronger. If you love his soul, pray for his soul. Pray that he will become more sensitive to your needs, and be able to cook you a nice dinner, or leave a rose for you every now and then. But eventually, if you do as I have instructed, God will reveal to you the true nature of that man’s heart, and his intentions towards you. If he is not the man you thought he was, continue loving him and praying for him, but end the relationship so it does not cause you to stumble any more. And pray that in your next relationship, God will bring a man to you who is sensitive, kind, caring, and thoughtful to your needs, and who loves you as a child of God, and who loves you before himself. Expect the best, and God will bring the best to you. But in order to receive the best from God, you must do only one thing. You must put God first. Think about why you are here on this planet at all. Think about the nature of reality. Understand that the universe has God at its center, and he is in Charge of it all. Give up your desire to be the God of your own life, and yield control to the one would created you and breathed the breath of life into your nostrils. See through the curtain of lies put out by the media and the scientific community that we are merely modified apes, living a purposeless life in the middle of a purposeless universe where everything just popped into existence from nothing called the Big Bang, and all of life evolved out of sludge. When you believe that world view, life seems pointless, and our highest aspiration is to live from one meaningless pleasure to the next. Unless we get a major infusion of meaning and purpose in our lives, we will have absolutely nothing to live for and we will live utterly trapped in a world of despair, where nonsense rules. But inject God into your life, and you inject purpose, passion, hope, love, devotion. Life becomes so much more than a rat race, a race to see who will be 1st. Jesus said that whoever would be first would be last. And of what use is gaining the entire world if you lose your very own soul in the process. Treasure your soul. BECAUSE YOU HAVE ONE. AND YOU DON’T WANT TO LOSE IT. But those who live for pleasure will lose their souls forever in Hell. They will put themselves first before all others, and in doing so, they will find themselves last. When you start doing good for others, and you develop a love for others and a yearning to do good, God will bless your efforts, and much fruit will be returned to you. More than you can ever ask or imagine. So do something kind for someone today. Go out of your way to make someone smile, and feel good about themselves. Do that long enough, and soon enough, Karma will come back to you, and all the positive energy you put out into the universe is brought back to you manifold.
God bless you woman in your search for passion, truth, beauty, and purpose, and may God have the man of your dreams visit you shortly.
Much Love from Above,
Christopher David Moyer
[personal information deleted by EmpowHER moderator]
Comment Reply
Dear woman,
October 15, 2010 - 4:02amFor some reason, my posts keep getting removed from the server, perhaps moderators don’t want people to be truly helped on this site, but I am determined to help you find a solution to your problem. First of all, I would like to congratulate you for caring enough about your boyfriend to love him and remain with him even though he is refusing to have sex with you. Not many women out there would stand by their man and admit their love for him when he has lost interest in them sexually. Perhaps there is something about him beyond the sexual satisfaction he can give you that convinces you to remain with him. Maybe you see something in his heart that makes you want to not let go of him. The question that needs to be addressed is whether or not he truly loves you for who you are, or he just regards you as a sexual plaything that he has become bored with, and now he wants another sexual plaything to fill his days with pleasure. Well, before maybe you just had guesses for what might be going on. But I’ll tell you this much, it’s not diet, exercise, other things going on in his life, or any of the typical responses you might get. There is something fundamentally changing in the nature of your relationship, and it has to do with the way he perceives you in his mind. If he truly loves you, he may just not know how to show it. So it is your job to walk him step by step, and help him understand what it feels like to be you. Tell him the thoughts of your heart. Tell him you love him even though he has stopped having sex with you, but you want to be sure that he loves you too. If you find out that he does not truly love you, you will know deep down that you are wasting your time with him. The relationship is doomed to fall apart if the love is not genuine. So how do you know if he genuinely loves you, or he is growing bored of you? Well, how would you know that his love for you is true? Suppose he walked up to you one day, looked you in the eye, and said to you, “Honey, I know I’ve been distant lately. There’s some things I’ve been struggling with inside myself. But I want you to know that I love you and I care about you so much. And then he wraps his arms arounds you and holds you for a few minutes, stroking your hair gently, all the while whispering sweet declarations of his love for you in your ear, tell you that you are the princess of his heart, or his fairy girl, or whatever sweet statement you’d love to hear. After that would you know his love for you is real? Pretty much. So you’ve gotta put him to a test. And I know this will be tough for you to do, but if you don’t do it, you’ll never discover the truth about how he really feels for you and what his devotion level to you is. Tell him your true feelings. Open up to him and be completely transparent. Something like, “Sweety, I love you so much, but you’ve really seemed distant lately. I know we haven’t had sex in a while, but I want you to know that I still love you and would stand by you even though we are not having sex. But I miss your touch and your gentle caress. I really just need to be held by you, and told by you that you really love me. Will you please just hold me for a few minutes, and stroke my hair. You know how I love it when you stroke my hair?” Continue to look him directly in the eye, and pay close attention to his next few moves. If he diverts his gaze away from you, and finds some way to break eye contact with you, and then mutters or speaks nearly inaudibly that he has got other things to do, or he can’t do it, or he won’t do it, then that is your answer. Watch his eyes very carefully, for they are the windows to his soul. If his eyes appear shifty, be very careful. If he is not willing to give you a simple hug and stroke your hair when you ask him to, then he’s only interested in you for sex. And since he’s not having sex with you now, he’s probably interested in another girl for sex.
Sex can blur our image of the other person. It can blind us to the true nature of the other person, their true personality. That’s why it is such a sacred thing, Created by God to express the fulfillment of love between a man and his wife and a wife and her husband. When we jump into the sack with people we barely know we are just asking for pain down the road. It acts like a drug, increasing dopamine in the brain and releasing chemicals into the bloodstream that make us feel “good” all over, but the goodness of that feeling, if not expressed through a true loving commitment to another person, is like eating snickers bars every morning lunch and dinner, and doing it again and again and again, with no real substance. Eventually, you’re teeth will rot out, and your body will turn to mush. Sex can be the most amazing and sacred experience on earth, as it is a glimpse into Heaven for the man and wife, who daily submit to the guidance of God through prayer with one another, with the ultimate goal of complete union of body, soul and spirit, in heaven. This experience will be unlike anything you can think of or imagine. And marriage is the preparation for this sacred experience. Not casual sex. Not recreational sex with as many people as you can, who eventually become nothing more than notches on a bedpost. People who treat sex that way will eventually become out of control animals, raving wild and uncontrollable. Those who fear God will treat sex with respect.
The man is the rock of the relationship. And that is who you need, dear woman. A man who will honor you and cherish you for your mind first and foremost, who respects your boundaries enough to not try and conquer you as though you were some prize to be won. I’m not saying this man you love isn’t that rock. Maybe he just needs some encouragement to be stronger. If you love his soul, pray for his soul. Pray that he will become more sensitive to your needs, and be able to cook you a nice dinner, or leave a rose for you every now and then. But eventually, if you do as I have instructed, God will reveal to you the true nature of that man’s heart, and his intentions towards you. If he is not the man you thought he was, continue loving him and praying for him, but end the relationship so it does not cause you to stumble any more. And pray that in your next relationship, God will bring a man to you who is sensitive, kind, caring, and thoughtful to your needs, and who loves you as a child of God, and who loves you before himself. Expect the best, and God will bring the best to you. But in order to receive the best from God, you must do only one thing. You must put God first. Think about why you are here on this planet at all. Think about the nature of reality. Understand that the universe has God at its center, and he is in Charge of it all. Give up your desire to be the God of your own life, and yield control to the one would created you and breathed the breath of life into your nostrils. See through the curtain of lies put out by the media and the scientific community that we are merely modified apes, living a purposeless life in the middle of a purposeless universe where everything just popped into existence from nothing called the Big Bang, and all of life evolved out of sludge. When you believe that world view, life seems pointless, and our highest aspiration is to live from one meaningless pleasure to the next. Unless we get a major infusion of meaning and purpose in our lives, we will have absolutely nothing to live for and we will live utterly trapped in a world of despair, where nonsense rules. But inject God into your life, and you inject purpose, passion, hope, love, devotion. Life becomes so much more than a rat race, a race to see who will be 1st. Jesus said that whoever would be first would be last. And of what use is gaining the entire world if you lose your very own soul in the process. Treasure your soul. BECAUSE YOU HAVE ONE. AND YOU DON’T WANT TO LOSE IT. But those who live for pleasure will lose their souls forever in Hell. They will put themselves first before all others, and in doing so, they will find themselves last. When you start doing good for others, and you develop a love for others and a yearning to do good, God will bless your efforts, and much fruit will be returned to you. More than you can ever ask or imagine. So do something kind for someone today. Go out of your way to make someone smile, and feel good about themselves. Do that long enough, and soon enough, Karma will come back to you, and all the positive energy you put out into the universe is brought back to you manifold.
God bless you woman in your search for passion, truth, beauty, and purpose, and may God have the man of your dreams visit you shortly.
Much Love from Above,
Christopher David Moyer
[personal information deleted by EmpowHER moderator]
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