The gay aspect is because I think my family/friends are seeing how much this is hurting me and his recent oh so homophobic attitude which is so fake (one of my friends is a gay male-we use to all hang out-he's the one who first suggested the idea but no evidence). I tried to be patient since he didn't even have a girlfriend until we got together EVER (which I found out after our vows-all his lies about past relationships that I used to base his character on destroyed) He is very passive agressive, in which if I bring up an issue and he doesn't have anything to say about it..he will pout and then try to ruin anything we had planned for the next couple weeks. He skipped out on a huge camping trip because he said we were leaving to late even though I said I would set up the tent. (we were an hour behind but it also was because I didn't have his stuff packed like I had the kids stuff) I went anyway hoping he'd change his mind (our youngest was 6mo old) --he knew it made me so mad that while we were gone he got the dog upto date on her shots and cleaned some of the house. I don't know if he's just mental but omg, he's like a pissed off teen with no sex drive. I just found lastnight that the character he made to help my son play on a game site (our son is 12-its a kids game) he was playing around and said he would wash the girls back for her but deleated it before I could read more...I know that's petty but come on! The smaller boys under 5 are up my butt trying to get daddy to play-they are hurt too...(some days are great as far as his fathering-4 out of 7) I thought maybe he's just an ass and since we're married he doesn't have to be nice anymore. We've known eachother since highschool until he joined the military, now he's become so unapproachable because he just shuts down. We tried counseling, nothing worked. We started like all these other stories of limited sex until finally none. He says he loves me but would do nothing to stop me from leaving saying "if that's what makes you happy", so I guess I need to start saving to leave. WARNING to women, if he wants you to stay home with the kids and you leave your job...just be very careful. I really just want to see the man who I loved again, I know he's not cheating or on drugs. He's uninterested in life I think all together. I've even offered to move to the other side of the country..wherever would make him happy. Sex is just one of the deepest personal disconnection he could do to me..since he knows it hurts my feelings and can't offer anything else (cuddling/time together) I guess staying with him would make as much sence as a woman who was beaten to stay...we're both hoping for a change that is something in their head and nothing we can do will change it! So confused......and I would give anything to be as fortunate as most on here complaining of once a week!! I wish someone would just be able to say things would get better or even if this is the end, I wish someone else went through it for advice. I can't see me standing in front of a judge saying...I want a divorce because he refuses to sleep with me ---- literally 3-5 times in a year. I was thinking of slipping him drugs..like an antidepressant, or viagra..even just vitamines but he wont eat supper with us no matter what it is and just eats hotpockets or fastfood now. (I tried making his favorite food too) I should probably walk away because the more I'm typping the more I'm thinkin of how much I've been trying to please him and it makes me want to chuck this at his head! He doesn't smoke, drink, cheat, or hide financess...so there are some good qualities. Okay I'll stop rambling but I think sex is just the first step in the pyscological war I seem to have been sucked into..ugh
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The gay aspect is because I think my family/friends are seeing how much this is hurting me and his recent oh so homophobic attitude which is so fake (one of my friends is a gay male-we use to all hang out-he's the one who first suggested the idea but no evidence). I tried to be patient since he didn't even have a girlfriend until we got together EVER (which I found out after our vows-all his lies about past relationships that I used to base his character on destroyed) He is very passive agressive, in which if I bring up an issue and he doesn't have anything to say about it..he will pout and then try to ruin anything we had planned for the next couple weeks. He skipped out on a huge camping trip because he said we were leaving to late even though I said I would set up the tent. (we were an hour behind but it also was because I didn't have his stuff packed like I had the kids stuff) I went anyway hoping he'd change his mind (our youngest was 6mo old) --he knew it made me so mad that while we were gone he got the dog upto date on her shots and cleaned some of the house. I don't know if he's just mental but omg, he's like a pissed off teen with no sex drive. I just found lastnight that the character he made to help my son play on a game site (our son is 12-its a kids game) he was playing around and said he would wash the girls back for her but deleated it before I could read more...I know that's petty but come on! The smaller boys under 5 are up my butt trying to get daddy to play-they are hurt too...(some days are great as far as his fathering-4 out of 7) I thought maybe he's just an ass and since we're married he doesn't have to be nice anymore. We've known eachother since highschool until he joined the military, now he's become so unapproachable because he just shuts down. We tried counseling, nothing worked. We started like all these other stories of limited sex until finally none. He says he loves me but would do nothing to stop me from leaving saying "if that's what makes you happy", so I guess I need to start saving to leave. WARNING to women, if he wants you to stay home with the kids and you leave your job...just be very careful. I really just want to see the man who I loved again, I know he's not cheating or on drugs. He's uninterested in life I think all together. I've even offered to move to the other side of the country..wherever would make him happy. Sex is just one of the deepest personal disconnection he could do to me..since he knows it hurts my feelings and can't offer anything else (cuddling/time together) I guess staying with him would make as much sence as a woman who was beaten to stay...we're both hoping for a change that is something in their head and nothing we can do will change it! So confused......and I would give anything to be as fortunate as most on here complaining of once a week!! I wish someone would just be able to say things would get better or even if this is the end, I wish someone else went through it for advice. I can't see me standing in front of a judge saying...I want a divorce because he refuses to sleep with me ---- literally 3-5 times in a year. I was thinking of slipping him drugs..like an antidepressant, or viagra..even just vitamines but he wont eat supper with us no matter what it is and just eats hotpockets or fastfood now. (I tried making his favorite food too) I should probably walk away because the more I'm typping the more I'm thinkin of how much I've been trying to please him and it makes me want to chuck this at his head! He doesn't smoke, drink, cheat, or hide financess...so there are some good qualities. Okay I'll stop rambling but I think sex is just the first step in the pyscological war I seem to have been sucked into..ugh
January 15, 2011 - 9:35amThis Comment
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