First of all I would like to say that I know what you are going through. I't a very difficult situation, and it makes you wonder if there is something wrong with you, or maybe there is something that you are not doing that would help. You start to feel insecure and unattractive, and desperate. But you simply can not ask for advice for your problem and only expect positive feed back. You have to be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. People who tell you that youre over reacting, and cheer you on saying that everything is going to be ok, are simply affraid of telling you that this might be a serious problem. Not because they don't care, but because they might not want to be involved in your situation or have you assosiate them with negative thoughts when it comes to your relationship. I don't know you, so I will be honest. I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm just trying to prepare you for the worst. I was with a man for 4 years. We had a beautiful home, we were going to get married and have kids. I noticed that our sex life started to suffer. We were in love, and I knew he would never lie to me. I could put my life on it because he was not only my lover, he was my best friend. He fell into depression. Was stressed out at work, had absolutely no sex drive. I started to think it was me. I felt helpless and unatractive. Four months later I found out he was having an affair. It shattered my heart. Everything I believed in was crushed and destroyed. I fell into depression, but I loved him so much I wanted to make it work. So I stayed, and I believed him when he said he was sorry and he loved me and would never do that again. And as far as I know, he didn't. But it took me 2 more years to realize that no matter how much I loved him and wanted things to go back to normal, I could never look at him the same. No matter how hard I tried to go back to how it used to be, I simply could not forget the fact that he was making love to another woman behind my back, while I sat at home and felt insecure, and wondered how to fix our sex life. After 2 years of trying, I finally gave up, and moved on. The point of my story is not to make you think he is having an affair, but to give you an idea of how life works. You can never assume that a man would never lie to you. And if he does, it doesn't make him a bad person. Men don't lie to hurt you. They lie to spare your feelings. They also make mistakes and feel bad about them. But it happends. Male libido, doesn't die over night. Something is going on, and you have to get to the bottom of it. If a guy is into you, he is going to want you. Sex is a way to express passion and love, and men are very sexual creatures. Unless he has serious health problems that require him taking medication that kills his sex drive, you need to start getting concerned. Don't be a dummy and take his word for it. Dig deeper, and be strong and prepared for anything. I wish someone gave me this advice when I was going through the dark time of my former relationship. I wouldn't have wasted 6 years of my life on a man who wasn't right for me. You don't deserve to be unhappy with a man who won't even make love to you. You need a healthy stalion, who will make you feel beautiful, and happy, and wanted. Because you are. And you have to expect that from your relationship. Why should you have to settle for anything less? Why should you have to settle for a guy who won't even make love to you? That's just unexceptable! You deserve to be competely happy. I hope this helped. Take care of your self and don't ever lower your standards just to stay in a relationship with someone who used to make you completely happy. Specially not when they don't anymore. Sex is healthy and fun, and you shouldn't have to give it up and wonder what's going on, just to stay in an unhealthy relationship. Good luck to you
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First of all I would like to say that I know what you are going through. I't a very difficult situation, and it makes you wonder if there is something wrong with you, or maybe there is something that you are not doing that would help. You start to feel insecure and unattractive, and desperate. But you simply can not ask for advice for your problem and only expect positive feed back. You have to be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. People who tell you that youre over reacting, and cheer you on saying that everything is going to be ok, are simply affraid of telling you that this might be a serious problem. Not because they don't care, but because they might not want to be involved in your situation or have you assosiate them with negative thoughts when it comes to your relationship. I don't know you, so I will be honest. I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm just trying to prepare you for the worst. I was with a man for 4 years. We had a beautiful home, we were going to get married and have kids. I noticed that our sex life started to suffer. We were in love, and I knew he would never lie to me. I could put my life on it because he was not only my lover, he was my best friend. He fell into depression. Was stressed out at work, had absolutely no sex drive. I started to think it was me. I felt helpless and unatractive. Four months later I found out he was having an affair. It shattered my heart. Everything I believed in was crushed and destroyed. I fell into depression, but I loved him so much I wanted to make it work. So I stayed, and I believed him when he said he was sorry and he loved me and would never do that again. And as far as I know, he didn't. But it took me 2 more years to realize that no matter how much I loved him and wanted things to go back to normal, I could never look at him the same. No matter how hard I tried to go back to how it used to be, I simply could not forget the fact that he was making love to another woman behind my back, while I sat at home and felt insecure, and wondered how to fix our sex life. After 2 years of trying, I finally gave up, and moved on. The point of my story is not to make you think he is having an affair, but to give you an idea of how life works. You can never assume that a man would never lie to you. And if he does, it doesn't make him a bad person. Men don't lie to hurt you. They lie to spare your feelings. They also make mistakes and feel bad about them. But it happends. Male libido, doesn't die over night. Something is going on, and you have to get to the bottom of it. If a guy is into you, he is going to want you. Sex is a way to express passion and love, and men are very sexual creatures. Unless he has serious health problems that require him taking medication that kills his sex drive, you need to start getting concerned. Don't be a dummy and take his word for it. Dig deeper, and be strong and prepared for anything. I wish someone gave me this advice when I was going through the dark time of my former relationship. I wouldn't have wasted 6 years of my life on a man who wasn't right for me. You don't deserve to be unhappy with a man who won't even make love to you. You need a healthy stalion, who will make you feel beautiful, and happy, and wanted. Because you are. And you have to expect that from your relationship. Why should you have to settle for anything less? Why should you have to settle for a guy who won't even make love to you? That's just unexceptable! You deserve to be competely happy. I hope this helped. Take care of your self and don't ever lower your standards just to stay in a relationship with someone who used to make you completely happy. Specially not when they don't anymore. Sex is healthy and fun, and you shouldn't have to give it up and wonder what's going on, just to stay in an unhealthy relationship. Good luck to you
Jasmine and Robert
March 24, 2011 - 5:05pmThis Comment
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