Hi Anonymous,
I'm glad you seem positive about this situation. However, something you said, in my opinion is key: "We have an amazing friendship." What you have there is a buddy...not a boyfriend. Yes, you may kiss and cuddle, but without the whole package, is this someone you potentially will marry? Isn't that what dating is, seeing if someone is marriage material? Have you and your mate even discussed it? It's already been 3 years with this guy. If you have real issues with his porn use, why are you still with him? You said "having sex 1-3 times a month simply does nothing for me." I am sensing from you that the porn is too much, and it is disruptive in your relationship. Yeah, you seem to have found a work-around for the time being, but how long can you keep up the abstinence before you're looking elsewhere for that fulfillment. If you both are not on the same page in regard to the physical intimacy in your relationship, then this is a recipe for destruction. Think about it.
If needed, you may want to get in to talk with a counselor to get with yourself and figure out what truly makes you happy and what you need for the long haul. I'm guessing his porn isn't part of that scenario, so you're wasting your time currently. It's up to you, and you're in charge of your own destiny. We can't tell you what to do, but just be aware of what you're doing, and how it's no doubt affecting you.
Take this with a grain of salt. If you completely disagree, then don't take heed. But if there is truth in there somewhere, you may want to consider what needs to happen.
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Hi Anonymous,
May 9, 2011 - 8:32amI'm glad you seem positive about this situation. However, something you said, in my opinion is key: "We have an amazing friendship." What you have there is a buddy...not a boyfriend. Yes, you may kiss and cuddle, but without the whole package, is this someone you potentially will marry? Isn't that what dating is, seeing if someone is marriage material? Have you and your mate even discussed it? It's already been 3 years with this guy. If you have real issues with his porn use, why are you still with him? You said "having sex 1-3 times a month simply does nothing for me." I am sensing from you that the porn is too much, and it is disruptive in your relationship. Yeah, you seem to have found a work-around for the time being, but how long can you keep up the abstinence before you're looking elsewhere for that fulfillment. If you both are not on the same page in regard to the physical intimacy in your relationship, then this is a recipe for destruction. Think about it.
If needed, you may want to get in to talk with a counselor to get with yourself and figure out what truly makes you happy and what you need for the long haul. I'm guessing his porn isn't part of that scenario, so you're wasting your time currently. It's up to you, and you're in charge of your own destiny. We can't tell you what to do, but just be aware of what you're doing, and how it's no doubt affecting you.
Take this with a grain of salt. If you completely disagree, then don't take heed. But if there is truth in there somewhere, you may want to consider what needs to happen.
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