I have never thought of watching soft porn with my husband as a way to "be able to relax a little bit about the monogamy pressures while still remaining faithful...". That is very interesting, and strangely, thought-provoking!
I think it is also safe to say that although we categorize men as "all" liking porn, some men are also turned-off or feel squeamish about porn; many of the more open-minded and enlightened say it is due to guilt and seeing the women who may/may not have had a choice to go into the industry is someone's mother, daughter, sister.
However, I think this also explains some of the thrill-factor in watching soft porn; it is not "PC" (politically correct), is not socially acceptable to discuss when asked, "so, what did you do last night?", and is probably not on the "to do" list for "how to reach the path to enlightenment". I am all about being "PC" and socially acceptable, but also want increased intimacy and fun with my husband. Where the two intersect for couples depends on so many factors (that you discussed), and I'm wondering if this could help some of the numerous women on this site who ask for help, because they are struggling with a dull, boring sex life with their long-term partner...this may open some new pathways to experimenting while still being safe and monogamous.
I also agree that this "tool" needs to be added to an already well-developed, open, honest, trusting, respectful and safe sexual relationship. It could have harmful effects if used when intimacy, communication and connection are already low, as hurt, insecure or jealous feelings could develop if the relationship does not have a strong foundation.
Again, thanks for sharing your personal story without too much personal information (ha!). I have to admit, I'm interested in trying this...
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Aimee,
I have never thought of watching soft porn with my husband as a way to "be able to relax a little bit about the monogamy pressures while still remaining faithful...". That is very interesting, and strangely, thought-provoking!
I think it is also safe to say that although we categorize men as "all" liking porn, some men are also turned-off or feel squeamish about porn; many of the more open-minded and enlightened say it is due to guilt and seeing the women who may/may not have had a choice to go into the industry is someone's mother, daughter, sister.
However, I think this also explains some of the thrill-factor in watching soft porn; it is not "PC" (politically correct), is not socially acceptable to discuss when asked, "so, what did you do last night?", and is probably not on the "to do" list for "how to reach the path to enlightenment". I am all about being "PC" and socially acceptable, but also want increased intimacy and fun with my husband. Where the two intersect for couples depends on so many factors (that you discussed), and I'm wondering if this could help some of the numerous women on this site who ask for help, because they are struggling with a dull, boring sex life with their long-term partner...this may open some new pathways to experimenting while still being safe and monogamous.
I also agree that this "tool" needs to be added to an already well-developed, open, honest, trusting, respectful and safe sexual relationship. It could have harmful effects if used when intimacy, communication and connection are already low, as hurt, insecure or jealous feelings could develop if the relationship does not have a strong foundation.
Again, thanks for sharing your personal story without too much personal information (ha!). I have to admit, I'm interested in trying this...
May 24, 2009 - 8:20pmThis Comment
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