Since she mentioned to him that it bothers her, and he was "open" enough to try to change his behavior, and was not able to sustain the behavior change, so it does sound like a habit now.
I think the most important piece of information would be to learn more about why he does this: why he started doing it in the first place, and now why he continues?
Can your friend request that he call her by another "pet name", that she is fond of? In every relationship there are compromises, but saying "hey, you" or some form of this would be upsetting, but honestly, this sounds like the least of their concerns if what you are witnessing/hearing from your friend is true: that she "puts up with him". This does not sound like a happy, healthy marriage from your description. Have they tried marriage counseling? If they have been married for 40 years, are they empty nesters now, or still raising children in their home?
I am not aware of any cultural reasons that a husband would not address his wife by her first name, but are you aware of their race or ethnicity?
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What is his reason for not using her name?
Since she mentioned to him that it bothers her, and he was "open" enough to try to change his behavior, and was not able to sustain the behavior change, so it does sound like a habit now.
I think the most important piece of information would be to learn more about why he does this: why he started doing it in the first place, and now why he continues?
Can your friend request that he call her by another "pet name", that she is fond of? In every relationship there are compromises, but saying "hey, you" or some form of this would be upsetting, but honestly, this sounds like the least of their concerns if what you are witnessing/hearing from your friend is true: that she "puts up with him". This does not sound like a happy, healthy marriage from your description. Have they tried marriage counseling? If they have been married for 40 years, are they empty nesters now, or still raising children in their home?
I am not aware of any cultural reasons that a husband would not address his wife by her first name, but are you aware of their race or ethnicity?
May 24, 2009 - 7:20pmThis Comment
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