My late wife went from operable to inoperable in a few months at the start of January 2013 and for the next 9 months always struggled to eat food but managed go out several times with her best friends.
The majority were expected to have failed to get past month 6 but she made month 12 and in the last week of her life unknown to myself she redecorated the kitchen on a day when I was out of the home.
The following day she told me to be a survivor after her days, keep an eye on our son, look after my sheep, take good care of the dog as its her that will attract the attention of the ladies when you put yourself out there. Remember that finding the happiness and love of a good woman again does not arrive on a plate, be alert and vigilant when out, stay to be the nice person I know you to be, watch the young ones, remember I was a low maintenance one, but I wont tell you whether to seek the new happiness or how to go about it equally I wont tell you not to seek it. She never asked me to take care of her 89 year old mother but I volunteered to do that in appreciation of our long marriage and to give her the commitment in front of our minister as that was the equivalent of a contract. No need for that she said as I know you are a man of your word and reliable and that's good enough for me.
In a few days she he had to go in to hospital with infection caused by the ninth cycle of chemotheraphy received a few days previously.
The treatment was being given to try to extend her life and she had previoussy had 4 bouts of infection requiring a week's stay in hospital each time. On this occasion I was phoned on the third day after admission to be told she had develooed peritonitis caused by either the mass growth, the chemotherapy or the drugs taken. The medics said it was inoperable and would take her life in 2-3days. Having fought off all objections I managed to get her home but because of a mistake in the final paperwork the ambulance went off half an hour before me. When she was set up in the bedroom our son who had been told to stay at home told her “ mum you have arrived home and Dad has done what he promised.She turned her head to look through a window overlooking some of our land and saw a few sheep grazing in nearby fields.That brought a smile to her face and she never spoke once for the next 18 hours.
I went through 25 years of family photograph albums and started falling asleep myself. I had a 20 minute break leaving the care nurse to oversee her and when I awoke up I got my son out of his bed. In two minutes she slipped away but I and our son held her hand before she died and that was another part of the promise made to her. in a minute there was the realisation that the good thing we had built togetherr lasting 39 years had finally come to an end and that it had happened on Christmas day of all days. God bless her soul.
Its never easy to predict when the end will come and each case is different but I followed my instinct and several people have told me I was lucky to have had her at home and to have succeeded in holding her hand.
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My late wife went from operable to inoperable in a few months at the start of January 2013 and for the next 9 months always struggled to eat food but managed go out several times with her best friends.
The majority were expected to have failed to get past month 6 but she made month 12 and in the last week of her life unknown to myself she redecorated the kitchen on a day when I was out of the home.
The following day she told me to be a survivor after her days, keep an eye on our son, look after my sheep, take good care of the dog as its her that will attract the attention of the ladies when you put yourself out there. Remember that finding the happiness and love of a good woman again does not arrive on a plate, be alert and vigilant when out, stay to be the nice person I know you to be, watch the young ones, remember I was a low maintenance one, but I wont tell you whether to seek the new happiness or how to go about it equally I wont tell you not to seek it. She never asked me to take care of her 89 year old mother but I volunteered to do that in appreciation of our long marriage and to give her the commitment in front of our minister as that was the equivalent of a contract. No need for that she said as I know you are a man of your word and reliable and that's good enough for me.
In a few days she he had to go in to hospital with infection caused by the ninth cycle of chemotheraphy received a few days previously.
The treatment was being given to try to extend her life and she had previoussy had 4 bouts of infection requiring a week's stay in hospital each time. On this occasion I was phoned on the third day after admission to be told she had develooed peritonitis caused by either the mass growth, the chemotherapy or the drugs taken. The medics said it was inoperable and would take her life in 2-3days. Having fought off all objections I managed to get her home but because of a mistake in the final paperwork the ambulance went off half an hour before me. When she was set up in the bedroom our son who had been told to stay at home told her “ mum you have arrived home and Dad has done what he promised.She turned her head to look through a window overlooking some of our land and saw a few sheep grazing in nearby fields.That brought a smile to her face and she never spoke once for the next 18 hours.
I went through 25 years of family photograph albums and started falling asleep myself. I had a 20 minute break leaving the care nurse to oversee her and when I awoke up I got my son out of his bed. In two minutes she slipped away but I and our son held her hand before she died and that was another part of the promise made to her. in a minute there was the realisation that the good thing we had built togetherr lasting 39 years had finally come to an end and that it had happened on Christmas day of all days. God bless her soul.
Its never easy to predict when the end will come and each case is different but I followed my instinct and several people have told me I was lucky to have had her at home and to have succeeded in holding her hand.
August 13, 2015 - 10:47amThis Comment
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