I do not have any anger or resentment towards my parents (who are still married, by the way)!!!!! I am blessed enough to be in the minority of adults who are survivors of incest (and "survivor" I am, no longer a "victim!) - and my relationship with my father has been healed, with lots and lots of work on both sides, over the past 14 years! My sexual abuse is no longer a secret in my family. Everyone knows and it's discussed; it's out in the open and talked about. Thank God there are no more secrets in my family.
Because of the hard work we've done as a family, I now have the father I always deserved. My dad has done everything he can possibly think of to "make up" for what he did to me as a child. Of course, he can never un-do what he did, but he loves me greatly (as I do him), and there is nothing he would not do for me - he would give his life for me in a second, without a single thought! Just like a father who loves his daughter should.
My family was only able to get to this point through tremendous forgiveness on my part (and the rest of my family), and "communication!" I believe that is a big key: Communication, lots and lots of open, non-judgmental communication.
My father happens to be an alcoholic, and the day my mother confronted him about molesting me as a child (22 years later), he stopped drinking and has never drank any alcohol since that day.
I have been in counseling/therapy for most of the past 17 years. I've had many counselors who also suffered with eating disorders. It is like an addiction for me. It is something that I know without a doubt that I will always have to keep in check. Maybe it's because, for me, it started at age 12 and still occasionally rears it's ugly head at age 46? That's a very long time...
It does not matter why it will always be something that I will need to be aware of and keep in check. I have many other emotional and psychological issues in addition to the bulimia (I'm also a recovering alcoholic). For me, it's another "addiction." I'm heavily involved in recovery work with my AA group and I spend a lot of time helping others in their recovery.
If I came across to anyone as having "anger and resentment" I was completely misunderstood. Unfortunately, it's sometimes difficult to write out words to be taken in the way we mean for them to be taken.
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I do not have any anger or resentment towards my parents (who are still married, by the way)!!!!! I am blessed enough to be in the minority of adults who are survivors of incest (and "survivor" I am, no longer a "victim!) - and my relationship with my father has been healed, with lots and lots of work on both sides, over the past 14 years! My sexual abuse is no longer a secret in my family. Everyone knows and it's discussed; it's out in the open and talked about. Thank God there are no more secrets in my family.
Because of the hard work we've done as a family, I now have the father I always deserved. My dad has done everything he can possibly think of to "make up" for what he did to me as a child. Of course, he can never un-do what he did, but he loves me greatly (as I do him), and there is nothing he would not do for me - he would give his life for me in a second, without a single thought! Just like a father who loves his daughter should.
My family was only able to get to this point through tremendous forgiveness on my part (and the rest of my family), and "communication!" I believe that is a big key: Communication, lots and lots of open, non-judgmental communication.
My father happens to be an alcoholic, and the day my mother confronted him about molesting me as a child (22 years later), he stopped drinking and has never drank any alcohol since that day.
I have been in counseling/therapy for most of the past 17 years. I've had many counselors who also suffered with eating disorders. It is like an addiction for me. It is something that I know without a doubt that I will always have to keep in check. Maybe it's because, for me, it started at age 12 and still occasionally rears it's ugly head at age 46? That's a very long time...
It does not matter why it will always be something that I will need to be aware of and keep in check. I have many other emotional and psychological issues in addition to the bulimia (I'm also a recovering alcoholic). For me, it's another "addiction." I'm heavily involved in recovery work with my AA group and I spend a lot of time helping others in their recovery.
If I came across to anyone as having "anger and resentment" I was completely misunderstood. Unfortunately, it's sometimes difficult to write out words to be taken in the way we mean for them to be taken.
God Bless all of You!!! :)
June 8, 2009 - 4:42pmShelley
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