Thank you for your article. It's very difficult to read articles/books where they discuss the whole boundary issue. A lot of people are afraid to touch that because they don't want to be accused of '"blaming families", or, god forbid, suggesting that eating disorders are about more than just food and weight. I know that in my case, boundary violations were what started and kept my anorexia going for many many years. It wasn't a "biochemical imbalance", heredity (no one in my family suffers from EDs, depression, or anything like that. just me), or a "diet gone wrong". I had no control over my life, no defense against the boundary violations, and no one to stand up for me and my ED literally saved my life. It was the only thing that helped me get through those things and survive. Forcing me into some family therapy or "Maudsley approach" would have led me to suicide or simply exacerbated the boundary violations that were already happening. Certainly those approaches can be effective, but not in all cases.
I'm sorry that so many people are misunderstanding what you are trying to say and attacking you. I found it to be very articulate and compelling. As for those who were accusing you of being self promoting or not supporting people trying to recover (e.g. that ridiculous accusation that you were a therapist who sought money through keeping someone ill and therefore in treatment for a long time), I'm sorry that they're so narrow minded and I feel sorrier for any ED sufferer who has to deal with them.
As for that horrible comment someone made about ED sufferers and how their thinking is "twisted" and that they're "manipulative" and therefore lying if they allege abuse, that smacks of misogynistic victim blaming. I am an abuse survivor. Many of those same things are said about abused women who are trying to press charges against their batterer or keep her children safe from him. People often justify trying to take over an abused woman's life because-by virtue of her having been abused-they think she is stupid, not thinking clearly (even when the decisions she makes, if taken within the context of the environment she is trying to survive in and the obstacles she is up against, are very logical and sensible courses of action) and that because she "let him do that" she is therefore untrustworthy, weak, and prone to hysteria or lying.
Thank you Joanna. I shall be saving this post, thank you for it.
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Dear Joanna,
Thank you for your article. It's very difficult to read articles/books where they discuss the whole boundary issue. A lot of people are afraid to touch that because they don't want to be accused of '"blaming families", or, god forbid, suggesting that eating disorders are about more than just food and weight. I know that in my case, boundary violations were what started and kept my anorexia going for many many years. It wasn't a "biochemical imbalance", heredity (no one in my family suffers from EDs, depression, or anything like that. just me), or a "diet gone wrong". I had no control over my life, no defense against the boundary violations, and no one to stand up for me and my ED literally saved my life. It was the only thing that helped me get through those things and survive. Forcing me into some family therapy or "Maudsley approach" would have led me to suicide or simply exacerbated the boundary violations that were already happening. Certainly those approaches can be effective, but not in all cases.
I'm sorry that so many people are misunderstanding what you are trying to say and attacking you. I found it to be very articulate and compelling. As for those who were accusing you of being self promoting or not supporting people trying to recover (e.g. that ridiculous accusation that you were a therapist who sought money through keeping someone ill and therefore in treatment for a long time), I'm sorry that they're so narrow minded and I feel sorrier for any ED sufferer who has to deal with them.
As for that horrible comment someone made about ED sufferers and how their thinking is "twisted" and that they're "manipulative" and therefore lying if they allege abuse, that smacks of misogynistic victim blaming. I am an abuse survivor. Many of those same things are said about abused women who are trying to press charges against their batterer or keep her children safe from him. People often justify trying to take over an abused woman's life because-by virtue of her having been abused-they think she is stupid, not thinking clearly (even when the decisions she makes, if taken within the context of the environment she is trying to survive in and the obstacles she is up against, are very logical and sensible courses of action) and that because she "let him do that" she is therefore untrustworthy, weak, and prone to hysteria or lying.
Thank you Joanna. I shall be saving this post, thank you for it.
-Jera
June 16, 2009 - 10:27pmhttp://www.fatanorexicreflections.blogspot.com
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